Ask Lemmy

Get black market explosives so I can blow up my brains and don't risk becoming a zombie.

Realistically the military will eventually clear everything, I just have to survive the weeks it would probably take.

Id buy a bunch of shelf stable food, a wood burner, bunch of lumber for barricading, nails, portable batteries for keeping out phones charged, a big battery for the router (even when thr power is down, internet isnt), guns. A bunch of bottled water too. A bunch of hand sanitizer too to clean out hands constantly if needed

I think thats all I'd need to sit this out. I think the hardest part would be convincing family that theres gonna be a zombie Apocalypse

I live near a number of gun stores, because America, and I have a realistic understanding of my capabilities. Now I'm not saying that I'm going to use the gun on myself, but the truth is I only really need to buy one bullet.

If possible, just get in my family's van and get into a big enough accident that I die. I ain't living in any form of zombie apocalypse if I have the choice.

Go shopping. Enough to last for a couple of months. Bring some water, as well. Buy some lumber to reinforce the doors. A few steel panels to close off a few strategic places. Raid the library.

Wait a month and allow flies and the weather do their thing.

See the not-so-dead fall apart.

After I stop seeing movement for three straight days, start blasting noise on a high visibility location from my location and wait to see what crawls out.

By this time, I risk two months have already elapsed.

Go out, with a shovel and an axe.

Dig a large pit, fill it with fire wood. Lay down a few of the corpses. Stack it as high as I can make it. Cover with more fire wood.

Syphon some diesel from a random car.

Light it up!

Rinse, repeat, until all the corpses I can find are disposed of, grouping together all the survivors I come across.

Start over.

Go online.

Research how many sleeping pills it takes to die.

Go out and buy them.

Spend time doing things I enjoy with people I like.

Crush the pills up into a drink and pound it.

Go to sleep.

Life's already hard. I don't need to live in a post-apocalyptic world.

Stock up, stay inside, and wait for the zombies to die from either dehydration or starvation.

• I dont tell anyone
• I buy S&P 500 mutual funds
• I choose zombie type: paralyzed

Like all the zombies on Lemmy... Slap them harder until they wake up and stop being zombies?

Living on an upper floor comes in handy for once, as it's actually fairly easy to barricade the front door. Alert some key close friends and family members who will actually believe me. Then stock up on canned goods, fill every possible thing I can with water, and grab some camping solar kits for power once the grid goes down.

After that? Hunker down. Avoid being clearly seen in windows or heard to prevent attracting the undead. I reckon I need to last about 6-9 weeks.

See, the thing is, zombies are going to die out. The average human can go 3 days without water and 3 weeks without food. Let's assume zombies have a magical lack of need of hydration, so they last 3 weeks. Double that for the time they'll have ample food. Assume another 3 weeks that they'll cannibalize each other or something.

At that point, I can begin to venture outside. Small numbers of capable zombies may still exist, but most will be dead or starving. Other survivors are my greatest worry.

My plan would be "go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over"

Time to go over my credit card limit buying shit for my home, mainly food and water. I wonder how long would electricity keep running.

At least I can pick zombie type, so only slow walkers like in the original Resident Evi or in Project Zomboid.

Get gun, fishing rod and tackle, salt water filters, and those mre buckets bible thumpers are always selling on tv. Go to the marina and steal a keelboat. Dab on all the land lubbers still on shore.

Hole up in Costco for two weeks or so.

The rotting corpses who only hunger for flesh are going to be eaten by animals and bugs. Because they don’t have regular ways to maintain water balance for muscles they will atrophy and become immobile. They will pretty much be a non threat while I have plenty of food and shelter to last me.

Buy a lot of toothpaste and toothbrushes.
And I would ask those hordes of zombie to brush their teeth before they try to bite me as I would not want to get sick and maybe contagious right before I'm eaten alive.

Head on over to the Winchester and wait for this all to blow over.

#1: Cardio

Probably procrastinate for 48hrs.

Get some plants to fight them

Supplies and boat on a large body of water.

Wait for real life to kill zombies. Or for them to rebuild society.

Probably kill myself

Drugs.

Then suicide.