Bondi’s holy crusade? More like federalized persecution fetish. Since when does the party of “small government” creampuff the DOJ into policing Sunday school butthurt?
Paula White—the grifter who prayer-jacked millions—now architects faith policy? Next milestone: tax-exempt jet fleets and federal grants for speaking-in-tongues AI startups.
Those “persecuted” clinic invaders Trump pardoned? Domestic terrorists with a Psalmbook. But sure, let’s canonize screaming at nurses as sacramental theater.
And his messiah complex—“God sculpted my cheekbones to deflect bullets”—while orphans burn in Medicaid gaps. Divine intervention’s got a MAGA-tier PR team.
Prayer Breakfast unity evaporated faster than communion wine. Morning psalms, afternoon executive-order napalm. This isn’t piety—it’s state-sanctioned blasphemy with a task force badge.