Can it be a 1 tonne baguette I would summon directly above someone's head?
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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I'll put some spicy chicken, turkey or other meat with some onions and garlic, hot out of the frying pan, maybe some hot sauce or gravy and some salad on the bread. Wrap with aluminium foil and leave it for a few minutes. Nice soft bread again...
I contact every James Randi-type paranormal debunker that I can find and explain my power to them. I agree to all of their terms and agree to demonstrate it to them under whatever tightly controlled absolutely perfectly sterile conditions they want.
And I do it for them, claim my prize money, and continue on with my life.
My power is to summon a baguette, not unlimited baguettes, so I gotta make that one count and I think that's my best to get the most bang for my buck.
Or if I get to decide where exactly that baguette is summoned to, perhaps I will have it spring into existence occupying the same space as [REDACTED]'s brain stem. Having them out of the picture would greatly enrich my life.
So basically unlimited bread pudding, French toast, and of course capirotada!
Baguettes just dump out of Trumps butt whenever he makes a public appearance
Why not just cover the Whitehouse in baguettes 100s of meters high, while simultaneously filling the rooms with so much baguette you can't even move.
I could probably get a job at either of my local grocery store bakery departments with that.
I would rain down ~~bagels~~ baguettes upon my enemies’ heads! Muhahaha.
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I say "this is for the birds"... and I give unlimited free bread to the birds outside.
Feed the birds. Then what have you got? Fat birds.
According to wikipedia, the atmosphere has a mass of about 5.15×10^18 kg and a baguette has a minimum mass of 8×10^-2 kg
I only need to create 6.4×10^19 baguettes
Now i have to figure out how to monetize this
If you summon enough baguettes in the right spot in space, you generate enough mass to gravity-slingshot Earth into a new trajectory. Depending on what mood you're in, you could use this to solve global warming, or send us into a collision course with the sun.
I could make a bunch of Runescape players very happy, I guess.
Slice it. Toast it. Add toppings. Endless tapas.
I challenge Karl, King of Ducks, for his crown.
Trickle them slowly enough onto the GE so they keep their value so I can sustain my membership through bonds.
Ergot farming.
Definitely on the 'use it to assassinate billionaires and malicious politicians' bandwagon.
One that's done, I'm spending the rest of my life traveling to feed birds at various parks, beaches, etc.
Edit - also slightly stale is perfect for making banh mi. My lunch game is about to to kick up a notch.