Want to post through the pain (not actual pain or mental pain don't worry I'm just using words wrong) but I'm realizing I jus kinda need to see a psychiatrist or some shit. Also get friends but that's even harder somehow
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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I see all the suffering in the world and feel like I don't deserve to be safe or happy.
I know it doesn't always feel like it, but you deserve safety, happiness, and prosperity
We're gonna make it.
I feel like I shouldn't buy anything or do hobbies when my time and money could be used to help people instead.
You can only do what you can do. The scale of suffering is enormous and it dwarfs any individuals efforts. There are grand scales of machines and institutions set up to create this grinding, human eating, oppression machine.
You can help people, they would appreciate if you do. If you do anything, starting small with the people near you will do a lot. Small acts of kidness count for a lot. You don't have to take on the entire globes struggle in order to be helping.
And never light yourself on fire in order to keep someone else warm. You need to stay alive and healthy too in order to keep doing good things.
It's maybe a little grim but all of us here are kinda helping each other out just by staying alive
Doing those things that bring you joy to get through the day and give even just a little bit to look forward to in the future is part of that staying alive.
You have to realize that not doing anything for yourself will only cause you to burn out. Reducing consumption is a great thing to do but denying yourself any joy is not a way to live. Everyone absolutely should have a safe space that they can relax feel joy in, including you. Just don't become a complacent and morph into a liberal, alright?
But if you dedicate your entire life for others then your mental health will probably suffer a lot and you will have a breakdown sooner or later. If you really want to help, do it in moderation and make sure that your wellbeing comes first.
I've been a dog person my whole life. I was such a dog person that I'd let the outside dogs jump in through my bedroom window to sleep with me (my room was in the basement). I never actually got my own dog though, I never had the room or proper space. I've had a couple cats and an ex who is more or less a cat lol, I did like the cats but I miss doggies more
Dogs are just better
does anyone know what kind of office-appropriate clothes i should buy? work's starting to enforce RTO so i want to look good when i'm arrested for arson
if anyone's interested, here are some of the questions (none of them answered) from our company meeting about this
What if there's no direct benefit of attending the site? e.g. my coworkers are at a different site
literally me (and by the sounds of it, a lot more people working here), hence why i've been allowed to wfh so far
Can you quantify the reduced productivity that you say you're seeing?
they can't quantify shit, in the same meeting they were discussing rising profits ffs
Will there be exceptions for neurodivergent individuals?
maybe, if they've spent hundreds of dollars on a diagnosis (still need to test this myself however)
Covid hasn't gone away, people are still dying from it. What steps will take to make sure the more crowded workspaces are safe?
fuck all. they don't give a shit if their actions cause further deaths if it can save them some money
bonus:
It's not hard to work in the office. We did it prior to covid and 5 days a week!
fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou
I bought some cute button up long sleeve blouses, slacks, and skirts and tights for the times I need to present in business casual (otherwise I just wear scrubs at work anyway lol). I always hated masc business casual, turns out I love wearing a floral print shirt, some jewelry, and a mid length skirt and heels. I shouldve figured
I think I want to have a fem voice when I'm talking but keep my baritone singing voice
I've lost my guy voice. I didn't notice, but I tried to do it a couple months back. Gone. I sound like a girl trying (badly) to imitate her dad to get out of trouble.
I have, however, retained my ability to sing exactly like Elvis.
My cat children now find it funny to sleep on my tits like theyβre pillows for cats. Their head just lying on my breast and nothing else. Gods I love them. Theyβre such little shits.
you will never lead an army into battle carrying a battle standard
:catgirl-flop: why bother
Everyone talking about eyebrow threading is right. I got a men's eyebrow threading. Because I am a coward. And even this has drastically altered the way I look. Much more androgenus.
today was a really bad fuckin day
hope things get better, comrade
It's funny how a week after fucking with trans people's passports, air travel becomes unsafe in general
reference to Nick Land's anti-semitism & transphobia
It's locust o'clock baybeeeeeeeeeee
Been getting into wearing jewellery in particular rings, as well as the history of queer symbology of certain rings. Itβs funny that no one can really agree on any of it.
What Iβve gleamed is:
-Signet rings on left pinky were normal in the late and early 20th century for men. One on the right pinky might have suggested you were gay. But this is flimsy in evidence. For example Oscar Wilde has his on his left in all pictures as was the normal fashion,
-Signet rings however on women on any finger were a big sign of being a lesbian in the early to mid 20th century. Because it was a traditionally Mens ring.
-for a brief moment late 20th and early 21st century, civil union bands were worn on left middle fingers, but now with gay marriage everyone just uses the ring finger if married
-everyone thinks thumb rings are associated with lesbians but thatβs largely vibes based
pregnancy dysphoria and thoughts on suicide
Anyone else get really sad that they'll never get to have kids? It makes me want to end my life honestly. Idk it feels like most of my life plans are basically unachievable. Like what am I supposed to do with this... I can't fathom wasting my time living till I'm 80 or something.
Idk I sometimes feel like I'm destined for suicide. Like it's something that's unchangeable no matter what I do. It's not like I'm even terribly depressed or sad at all currently, it's just a thought I get quite often even when not suicidal.
spoiler
I do want to have children, but I made my choice and couldn't afford to freeze sperm. I would've killed myself, frankly, if I didn't transition so not picking that was not a real option.
Fortunately there are many ways to have a family where you don't get pregnant. And concerns and intense grief over fertility is something you share with a loooot of cis women, the feminine mystique is very strong. That doesn't take away the grief of not being able to be pregnant. Only to let you know that many of us share the same struggle. Living your life without being able to be pregnant is a life worth living, you can still have children but even if you don't - there are many ways you can improve childrens' lives.
When I was growing up, I was very sure I didn't want children. I even tried to get snipped at 18. Anyway, turns out I really didn't want to be a dad but being a mom would be great! It didn't work with my long term ex and I think I'm starting to get beyond any chance of biological kids. I've thought about adopting or fostering for reunification, I dunno. I have the kids at work (I'm a peds nurse) and that's working for me so far.
For what it's worth, the first children that have been born to women with uterus transplants have already been born, they're like 5 to 10 years old. They just don't allow trans women to have the procedure, but it's something that's happening right now. Maybe like a 12 year old trans girl will be able to get it 15 years from now or maybe in the next 5 years it'll be more open. We have the same blood vessels, we can take immunosuppressants, we can get the organ.
spoiler
Every fucking day. Itβs something that haunts me and will do so the rest of my life.
Thereβs nothing more I want to do with my life than to create one and raise it. It feels like my whole lifeβs purpose and I can never fulfill it and it kills me on the inside. Such a strong maternal instinct that can never be fulfilled.
To be honest, this feeling is generally a very central part of my dysphoria and severe depression most of the time. It hurts. A lot.
I found a cool Yuri webtoon I like and read the whole thing in a day and a half of " working" at my job
Why can't every artist just make their art like 20000% faster so I can enjoy it more?