this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 55 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Seriously a manifesto that starts off by praising the feds is about as suspicious as a cop going "Yeah, the suspect died in my custody, but before you think about giving me suspending me from the force with pay. He wrote this confession letter in his own blood confirming he killed himself and three whole paragraphs affirming that my massive cock is indeed large and super not-small."

[–] sudo@programming.dev 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The "manifesto" isn't a manifesto at all. Its basically just a written confession. And reads like a forced one at that. To me, the theory that they used illegal means to catch him and are just planting evidence so they have a case makes way more sense. They probably lost him and had to tap into some NSA data to ID him. He probably wasn't a fucking moron and ditched the gun with the bag central park.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 6 points 3 days ago

That would explain that part that says

PS: "Oh yeah that Agent Smith guy who called in this arrest, he needs to be promoted and his co-workers need to stop complaining about his body odor, because it's quite pleasant actually. Prefer it to an air freshener."

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Between that, the discrepancy of the eyebrows, and the discrepancy of the backpack thing, so much of this doesn't add up. Not guilty.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 254 points 5 days ago (4 children)

There's a part of me hoping dudes going along with it to aid in the others escape, solidarity style, and he's got some iron clad alibi his lawyer plans to deliver in the courtroom that means they can't convict him.

[–] ifItWasUpToMe@lemmy.ca 142 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I want this timeline so damn bad

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 40 points 5 days ago (1 children)

In which timeline are you? Harambe alive or Harambe dead?

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 33 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I never put my dick away for Harambe. Does not matter what HR has to say about it.

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

HR stands from Harambe Repressors.

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[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 95 points 5 days ago (9 children)

Plot twist: this was a group act all along. The murderer flees the scene. Once the image gets released, a second actor shows up at a McDonald's, a public space. Gets reported to authorities by a third actor, who does actually work at McD's. They waste the authorities' time, and the second actor, having commited no crimes, proves his innocence. The actual murderer, in the meantime, disappears for real, benefiting of the time wasted by the authorities. Second actor represents something, and gets some cool pics getting "arrested"

Idk, the idea just came to mind seeing the comment above

[–] superkret@feddit.org 63 points 4 days ago

the second actor, having commited no crimes, proves his innocence.

Here's the flaw in your plan: This doesn't actually work in the US.

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago (3 children)

if luigi hypothetically did participate in this plan, wouldn’t that itself be a crime (accessory to murder)? so they could still get him for something if they found out about the plan, but probably for less than if he did actually kill someone. i’m not a lawyer though so i don’t really know how this stuff works or if it would even be feasible to prosecute him for any of those things (if he did them)

[–] MacAttak8@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Yeah I think they could still charge anyone who was in on the plan with conspiracy to commit murder whether they pulled the trigger or not.

Edit: at minimum

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[–] Mac@mander.xyz 14 points 4 days ago

As if they would care. There will be no justice here.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 16 points 4 days ago

Luigi is player 2.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 200 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Don't get me wrong. After all of this high drama, it would be extremely funny if Luigi Mangione can prove he was in Rochester on the day of the shooting.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I think that's exactly where it's going. Get convicted, real killer confesses and the state can't pursue a crime they've convicted someone for.

[–] SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 15 points 4 days ago (11 children)

Why not? The double jeopardy clause is about prosecuting a single person twice; it says nothing about prosecuting a second person for the same crime. Heck, convicting a second person wouldn't even automatically invalidate the first conviction. (SCOTUS has ruled that innocence is not a sufficient reason to overturn a conviction.)

Remember, we have a judicial system. Calling it a "justice system" is inaccurate.

[–] vaionko@sopuli.xyz 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

innocence is not a sufficient reason to overturn a conviction

WHAT

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[–] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 35 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I really hope that Luigi does get acquitted. I mean if it is factual that he didn't do it and the real killer is out there... well then, I guess Luigi still got lots of fame, but at the same time we will also be happy that the real guy is not only free, but the mystery of who he is will make him cooler.

[–] averyminya@beehaw.org 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Except DB Cooper was just a crook who was only after money. The shooter had an actual statement to make.

[–] averyminya@beehaw.org 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You say that with confidence but he could have had a manifesto that was lost with his body and the money.

Unless... D.B.?

[–] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 2 points 6 hours ago

It's Dan Cooper, my son, DB was coined by the press to throw them off a little more.

I am getting old. Very old. It was never about the money. The bit found in 1980 was never intentional. I did it to try to show how security was far too weak and a message to Nixon. I got hurt but I made it out. Burned my old outfit. I landed only a little far off my intended mark where I had stashed more proper winter attire to trek through the forest. Police were helpful in future proofing my crimes. Those cigarettes I smoked and that stir stick on the bourbon and coke cocktail I had? They could have been used to eventually identify my DNA. But they were gotten rid of. Very helpful. I quit smoking and drinking right after.

It was hard. But I had a change of heart. Was it really going to spark a change? That high jacking? Was the 200K I took going to do anything? I had time to think in my trek back, I realized it didn't matter ultimately. I wasn't alone back then, but I am now. Mr. Miner (that's what I will call him) who stole the dynamite and fashioned the bomb I had? He died in a mining accident not too long after. And miss glamour (what i will call her) who helped with the makeup job so well that it hid my true appearance. I don't look a thing like the composite drawing. She passed away, struck by a drunk who couldn't take no for an answer.

Now I am alone and I am not long for this world. I had to keep my identity secret because mysteries allow people to fill in their own details. I did want to change the world somewhat... and I did. Airport security implemented after me aided in stopping the spree of hijackings that was so endemic to the time.

You want to know who I really am? I finally worked up the courage to say it here

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 107 points 5 days ago (7 children)

It really is an absolutely bizaare story. Why would he walk around with the murder weapon like that?

[–] xtr0n@sh.itjust.works 79 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I don’t trust the police so I don’t assume the items they claim that they got off of Luigi are legit. We’ll see what his lawyer says in court. We also don’t know if the gun that they say he had was the murder weapon. Have they done ballistics analysis or anything yet?

[–] DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I think he wanted to be caught and make a statement. "Those parasites had it coming"

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[–] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 65 points 5 days ago (5 children)

See, I think one of three scenarios might have happened:

  • Luigi didn't do it. He was framed and set up because out of the hundreds of prank tips, this guy looked "close enough."
  • Luigi did it, but the evidence was made up to make the case solid and the police look competent. Luigi wasn't stupid, but he's boned anyway.
  • Luigi did it, and he really was that stupid.

As a writer, one of the aggravating tropes we have to follow is, "make the story believable," when reality sometimes doesn't align with "a good story." Some criminals are really that stupid, and some armchair theory, based on decades of movies, books, and TV shows, you expect "hey, this is what they SHOULD have done is." And they didn't. It's like when a chessmaster has to watch complete amateurs play chess. "Obvious strategies" are ignored, and basically both players are just not thinking past their last move.

[–] xtr0n@sh.itjust.works 33 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

The thing is, whoever did it was pretty smart about much of the crime, which is why the story of how Luigi was caught and what they say he had on is person seems so odd relative to the behavior the previous week.

If it was Luigi, he was pretty disciplined and smart before, during and immediately after the crime with the only leak being showing his face at the hostel (which he may have been required to do when he gave them ID).

If he did do it and really had all that evidence on him, maybe he wanted to get caught? It seems crazy that anyone would hang onto a 3d printed gun when it would be pretty easy to destroy and dispose of it in multiple pieces and locations.

I’ve said it before but I truly believe that Luigi would still be free if he had plucked his eyebrows, regardless of whether he did it.

Edit to add, maybe he thought he’d get shot or captured at the scene and didn’t think too far beyond the immediate getaway? And with the stress of his picture up all over the news and social media, he kinda wasn’t thinking straight?

[–] orcrist@lemm.ee 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

To be precise, we have no idea what evidence was collected or what it shows. All we know is what the cops said they found, and cops are notorious liars. Just ask Young Thug or Karen Read.

We can assume some of what the cops say is true, but the challenge is that we have no idea which parts.

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A slight variation on your second scenario is parallel construction.
I don't know if Luigi's the shooter or not, but if he did it, there's a decent chance whatever is presented as evidence has absolutely nothing to do with how they actually caught the guy.

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 16 points 4 days ago

Luigi did it, and he really was that stupid.

Given that he was valedictorian at his school, I find that unlikely to be the option.

I think you're missing a 4th option:

  • He did it, and believed it not worth the anxiety/suffering of living the rest of his life as a wanted man, so did what he could to get away from the immediate scene but ultimately turn himself in so to speak.

And there are almost certainly more nuanced options out there.

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[–] too_high_for_this@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago (6 children)

It looks like you couldn't decide on "bizarre" or "bazaar" so you split the difference. Bazaar is a market place, bizarre is weird. Just fyi, not trying to be a dick about it happy holidays love you

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[–] anachronist@midwest.social 78 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Next time they pick a patsy for a guy with distinctive eyebrows they should find a guy with the same eyebrows.

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[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 49 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

Don't chew your food with your mouth open, holy shit Michael where are your manners

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[–] big_fat_fluffy@leminal.space 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Maybe it's a staged event. The latest consensus-splitter / distraction.

Look how it has split us. Reddit deleting posts. Unironic discussion of guillotines.

[–] Sl00k@programming.dev 30 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This event has brought a lot more class consciousness to the masses than anything else imo.

[–] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

It doesn't have to have been effective. They might just have overestimated how many people would think killing health insurance CEOs was unacceptable.

[–] sudo@programming.dev 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

WTF are you smoking? The ruling class is deliberately splitting us against the ruling class?

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 48 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Imagine what happens if someone with a charming smile and strong eyebrow game shoots another health care CEO.

[–] sunzu2@thebrainbin.org 20 points 5 days ago

God willing

Whoever killed Brian Thompson really did announce a safari on these parasites

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[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 49 points 5 days ago (4 children)

This is actually the beginning of the plot to Sonic Adventure 2. We should be seeing Luigi snowboarding down the streets of San Francisco any day now.

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[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 47 points 5 days ago
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