332
“Times are so tough that we’re even considering holding a cum drive charity event to restock our reserves.”
this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2024
332 points (99.1% liked)
The Onion
4704 readers
379 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Gwar, often stylized as GWAR, is an American heavy metal band formed in Richmond, Virginia, in 1984, composed of and operated by a frequently rotating line-up of musicians, artists, and filmmakers collectively known as Slave Pit Inc.
...
Identified by their distinctively grotesque costumes, Gwar's core thematic and visual concept revolves around an elaborate science fiction-themed mythology which portrays the band members as barbaric medieval nordic, mythological, biblical or interplanetary warriors, a narrative which serves as the basis for all of the band's albums, live shows and media. With over-the-top violent, sexual, and scatological humor typically incorporating social and political satire, Gwar has attracted both acclaim and controversy for its music and stage shows, the latter of which notoriously showcase enactments of graphic violence that result in the audience being sprayed with fake blood, urine, and semen. Such stagecraft regularly leads Gwar to be labeled a "shock rock" band by the media. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gwar
Ohlord.... I needed this laugh so much.
Thanks!
Bummer. The fake cum and blood were the only reasons to see a GWAR show. It's not like anybody shows up for the music.
You'll be the first we feed to the sentient toilet
The real economic canary
I'm a Republican who does their Own Research and this is FALSE because GWAR isn't Real!
Fake news.
GWAR interviews cracked me up so much as a kid. Their commitment to the bit is awesome.
Dave was a lot better about staying in character than Mike is. There is an Opie & Anthony interview with Oderus and they could not get him to break character, then Oderus left and Dave comes in and they could not get him to admit he is Oderus.
While Mike sells Blöthar well, he does not have the commitment Dave did.
Obvious bait. A republican would never use "their".
Best headline of the month
FAKE cum??? Uhhhhhhh........yeah, sure. Fake.
You have any idea how expensive the real stuff is? The amount of anime figurines required alone makes it unobtainium.
It's only cum if it's from the seminal vesicles in France. Otherwise, it's just sparkling semen.
It's been fake since Oderus died. Blothar is fine, but he just doesn't have the supply at his age to fill all those drums for each show.
Blöthar produces 4 times as much, he has four cum udders vs one cuttlefish.
lmao, ok you clearly have more detailed Blothar biology information that I do, so I'll assume you're correct.
I'm glad Oderus didn't have to deal with this shit.
Time to buy the dip!
Sleazy P Martini's been hording it!!!