“The whole thing has shattered my psyche if I’m being honest. I tried to schedule an extra session with my therapist, but my insurance wouldn’t cover it...
this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2024
1342 points (99.5% liked)
The Onion
4704 readers
369 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
If the shooter does get caught, I hope this is part of his defense
I want to laugh so hard but
“Well isn’t it obvious? Due to political and economic disillusionment, people have gone insane and started doing things that don’t make any sense, instead of fearing immigrants and hating women,” said McHarris. “It’s almost as if people are fed up with the billionaire class. But that can’t be it.”
I know this will be their takeaway pretty much.
I want to believe, but it's hard to buy the "nation fed up with the rich" story days after the quintessential rich guy and rich guy buddy was voted president of said nation...
They were also voted in because the other option was also the establishment. Both sides campaign with the other side being this guy and they both are largely right.
Dead on.
As they say.
My brain read this as "head on" and immediately followed with "apply directly to the forehead." Even with my misread, I think it works.
As soon as you said head on I knew what you were gonna say
This is a great, spot on satirical take in this news story ...
... That won't ever reach the minds of those who need to truly realize the truth ...
chef's kiss superb Onion headline
Actually this is the hard times, not the onion.
I don't know this for a fact, but I just know it's true: Heath Insurance CEOs have hurt more people and caused more suffering than all of the illegal immigrants combined.
Oh, definitely. Many CEOs are psychopaths while immigrants (illegal or not) are consistently less prone to criminal acts than the average person.
Have Health Insurance CEOs hurt more Americans than the Axis Powers?
It is really not, Trump is a symptom of people despising the status quo and feeling helpless in an unfair system.
Trump has tapped into a populist message. Of course he will only do what is in his self interest and does not give a shit about his supporters. But to the average person who just consumes Fox News and social media he looks like he can change the world for them… Or at least hurt those who are hurting them.
The right wing media has steadily eroded social norms and echo’s the extreme right when they call for violence against the left.
It’s not to far of a leap to say that an ignorant victimized populace which has been desensitized to violence and wants to punish those who they believe have hurt them would cheer just as hard as the left when a CEO of a deeply unpopular company is killed.
The right has been feeding the population violence and extremism for years. All the while targeting their anger toward other groups while taking advantage of the population. I don’t think they understand the monster they have created.
It almost seems like you are responding to the wrong message—I agree with everything here except your setting off with “it’s really not” in response to illegal migrants?
I meant to comment on the post above this one. Which is why it is out of place.
or our trans neighbors
The funniest thing has been the people who voted Trump in also supporting this Gunman. Like ... do you know the piece of shit you have just voted in?
Class consciousness still exists even in today’s fractured USA. Ben Shapiro and (I think it was) Matt Walsh are currently getting clowned on by their own fans for criticizing the anger that has been ignited.
Americans are stupid and respond to solutions. Harris offered no solutions, while Trump at least offered ineffectual shit like deporting twenty gazillion migrants.
The healthcare situation has boiled all that facade down to reveal that everyone across party lines is both sick and aware of their oppression under corporate greed. I really wish that the opposing party would at least try to capture some of that rage, but every Democrat except maybe Bernie is sticking with the “corporations are our friends and this is so sickening frfr” narrative. :(
Real solutions that don't bypass the system are difficult to implement. Harris proposed hiking up the corporate tax rate from 21% to 28% that their CEOs financed and used their corporations to begin to favor Trump. She was also upping the taxes rich people payed. It's funny how people who want to "eat the rich" and want to fight "corporate greed" often play to their interests.
Trump is not going to be uselessly providing solutions. Don't confuse his public-to-private funneling schemes catering to populisms as his policy. He's going to provide very real solutions - for the rich - and the US, as known to the middle "you can actually play by the rules and be assured a relatively comfort rich place in society" class, will likely never recover from a second term now well aware of what it is and what it should cater to. In the years to follow, I don't think the "one nation, undivided" Civil War legacy is going to remain the sacrosanct gospel of times past, and some states that never have considered it before will have to consider secession - while states that have had no problem screaming about it in the past will suddenly become "defenders of the union".
I think you’re talking past each other. Their point is not that Trump is the only one offering real solutions, their point is about messaging. Trump is willing to say very loudly something along the lines of “we have a big problem and I have a big solution.” The general public knows something is wrong. It makes him popular. Democrats have responded to this by effectively saying “we do not have big problems. We are going to make some improvements.” This is what you might call a less popular message. They need to be saying “we do have some big problems, but those aren’t solutions—these are solutions.
And then they need to actually provide real solutions instead of more neoliberal rot, but hey! First things first, maybe stop running campaign messaging that opposes popular opinion
yes they were talking past my point. your analysis is correct; appreciate ya :)
For at least tens of millions it's not so much class consciousness, more like class cluelessness - somehow they think they have something in common with a guy like Trump. They don't grasp that they're expendable peasants he doesn't give two shits about. Even when he buses them out to his rallies and strands them, they still don't get a clue.
class consciousness in regards to healthcare abuses, class cluelessness in regard to trump’s actual values
both can be true
Like ... do you know the piece of shit you have just voted in?
Thats the fun thing about Trump voters: they dont know shit about what Trump stands for.
Do Trump next!
Do you really want JD Vance as president?
Do JD Vance next!
Do you really want Mike Johnson as president?
hack his computer to download some porn so his son can stone him or whatever per their agreement. I assume it's stoning based on the general vibe
Who's he
Speaker of the house of representatives. He's president if Trump and Vance die.
The third target.
Jk FBI, I kid. He's a piece of shit hippocrite that doesn't want to release stuff on Gaetz because party over country. And he's probably compromised, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
There have been several attempts, but none of them professional. My guess is that he's too white.
Did you see muskrats tweet? Koolaid is solidly gobbled, the only enemies they see are the ones right in front of them directly pissing them off
Forever be based, onion
it's the hard times
But with any luck we can get some good times in too
Goodness, I love The Hard Times so much. They've been killin' it on multiple levels for years.
Thank you for posting this here, ZeroCool! :)
The onion now doing actual journalism? What has the world cone to?
The Hard Times is a separate entity from The Onion afaik.
This is great journalism
Did Elon fly his rocket yet? I'd like to purchase bits of whatever is left when it comes back. I want to pee on the pieces and then watch the stuff circle around the bowl as they flush down. Its therapeutic according to the experts.
You can always get your foot in the door by purchasing a disc of vacuum dessicated Elon on the Ferrngi Futures Exchange! Currently only 50 bars of gold pressed platinum, but act fast!
Ah damn, it's an onion.
Not not the onion?
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
The Onion Clickhole McSweeney’s Reductress The Chaser The Hard Times The Hard Drive The Needling Tattletale Times
Does the onion know it's become a monkey's paw of sorts?