Ask Lemmy

Oh darling, if I had real money, I would use it to sow chaos and undermine the world's financial markets.

But most of all, if I have to live in this bullsh!t cyberpunk reality, we might as well have shadowrunners/Edgerunners/mercs. So I'd recruit as many paramilitary mercenaries as I could find and set them on the task of sabotaging critical corporate infrastructure, kidnapping any oligarchs we could find vulnerabilities for, and doing brazen, overt terrorism kind of stuff.

The idea being if I can cause enough chaos perhaps the people of the world might finally have enough and force change for the ultra wealthy.

I'd fund online counter propaganda campaigns. Drown out the voices of the troll farms attacking our democracies.

If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen, Right in the middle of the town. A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below. There would be one long staircase just going up, And one even longer coming down, And one more leading nowhere, just for show.

I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks For the town to see and hear. And each loud "cheep" and "swaqwk" and "honk" and "quack" Would land like a trumpet on the ear, As if to say "Here lives a wealthy man."

If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

I see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife With a proper double-chin. Supervising meals to her heart's delight. I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock. Oy, what a happy mood she's in. Screaming at the servants, day and night.

The most important men in town would come to fawn on me! They would ask me to advise them, Like a Solomon the Wise. "If you please, Reb Tevye..." "Pardon me, Reb Tevye..." Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes! And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong. When you're rich, they think you really know!

If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack To sit in the synagogue and pray. And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall. And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day. That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. Lord who made the lion and the lamb, You decreed I should be what I am. Would it spoil some vast eternal plan? If I were a wealthy man...

Have a child / children. Invest in my community. Help my parents retire. Get another dog. Buy the fancy chocolates. Probably join some sort of workout class for my own health.

Buy a place in Montreal. Try to do random acts of kindness on randos where I can. You can't generally change the world, but you can make personal impact.

2 chicks at the same time

You didn't say how much, from lowest to highest income level:

Retire

Help every homeless person in my city, then my county, my province.

Order or build locally, tiny homes for all the homeless in my city. Expand outwards if I had money left.

Buy the local power corp and run it as a nonprofit.

Fuckin' A

If I had millions I'd buy some land and build a space for artists and musicians to come and hang out and make things.

If I had billions I'd disrupt the appliance industry because I can't find any decent appliances.

Great old novel/movie "The Magic Christian."

https://youtu.be/FE2zTnOJ94I

Peter Sellers is a billionaire who decides to wage war on his own class.

At this point, setup a refuge for disabled people in similar situations as myself. I would help people make the best out of what they can do without the misery of fighting for the fundamental right to survival in a suicide inducing system of terrorism from government and those that do not understand chronic pain and unfixable problems.

I'd also likely get an Iron Man like exoskeleton to fix my weak and useless torso.

Honestly I would only want two things, to not have to worry about money and to live where I want. So much stress and thinking goes into money that I think I would be quite relaxed if I didn’t have to think about it except for investments. I also wouldn’t have to worry about home security or how my pets are taken care of. For living where I want, my job and family takes me around the a world. I wish I had a small place in each location :)

Pretty much what I do now, but with way more sex.

(I'm disabled so I have lots of free time to game and fuck around on the internet)

If I were so rich that I'd never have to work again, I'd go to law school and become a public defender. I can't become Batman, but I can still help others.

Be Batman.

Do art, woodworking, and other hobbies in a remote location.

Weekend everyday, basically. I don't care for a house or fancy things, I'd spend my time creating art and having fun with friends - who I'd share some wealth with.

I'd go to college. I'd learn all the things I had to teach myself, but properly. I'd spend as many of the remaining minutes of my life with my family, giving them the things I always couldn't. As a father, you're expected to work your ass off to provide for your family, and doing so trades away all the precious moments you could have had. My kids are almost adults now, and I regret every day not being born rich.

I'd buy myself a more proper country and be the change I want in the world.

id like to open a roller skating rink with attached cereal bar.

It depends how rich

If by rich you mean what a child would consider a lot of money, i dont think i could do much with 100€

If by rich you mean infinite money, i would try to buy all companies and politicians i can, make money worthless in as many countries as i can and attempt to achieve anarcho-posadism or something similar

Buy a house in a safe neighborhood for myself. Establish at least one housing complex for the homeless with medical, psychiatric, and general care staff as close as possible to said safe neighborhood. Repeat until all that is left is enough to keep said complexes staffed and operational for at least 5 years.

Keep at least $1,000,000 to invest into the stock market in various ETFs, REITs, and LEAP Option calls. All profits go back to maintaining and establishing more housing complexes for the homeless.

All my free time would be spent figuring out how to end the homelessness crisis. If ever accomplished, focus my efforts on the public education system, and praying I somehow have the willpower to avoid corruption.

I'd pay my workers more and stop being a dick

If I were just a little rich, I would work less, and spend more time traveling.

If I were rich (but not rich-rich) I would retire, move further away from the city, and make my own saw mill. Also spend more time traveling.

If I were rich-rich, I would fund Vasalgel, lobby for that project to make mosquitoes extinct, and fund a few low budget films per year, outside of Hollywood. I don't know where I would move, but I would probably still travel more.

I would calculate the amount of money I would need to keep in investments and in my bank account in order to generate, in interest/returns,etc, the amount I would need to live comfortably for the rest of my life. I would then donate the rest to various charities.

Do whatever I could to get sustainable energy going, just invest in all the renewable energy projects. Let's get everyone going with solar panels! Wind farms wherever we can! Free charging stations for everything!!! Oh, your battery tech project needs funding? Here's all the money you need!

• Buy high-end items for all of my hobbies.
• Eat regularly at my favorite restaurants.
• Wear clothing that isn't locally available.

I'd donate to cancer research. You never know when it's gonna hit you and I'd rather die knowing I did something to help cure it.