Futurama

“Hahahaha”

Oh wait. You’re serious? Let me laugh even harder.

“HAHAHAHA”

Shut up baby I know it

Use it with the wife often, mostly with success

My absolute favorite line is, "Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun."

That same episode also gave us the phrase, "a partially barfed-up heart," which is a phrase I can't even type here without laughing.

Old lady: Like I always say, live fast and die young Bender: You should say something else

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!

“Your music’s bad and you should feel bad!”

I'll use the poor as a source of teeth for aquarium gravel

• I don't know what to do! Should I eat more butter?!
• This is the worst part: the calm before the battle...oh wait! I forgot about the battle!
• Some of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. Those men are the bravest of all...
• Please, gentlemen, we've all seen too many body bags and ball sacks.
• That wasn't cowardice!
• No, Scruffy, it's me, Washbucket! I love you, Scruffy! I've always loved you!
• Now open your mouth...No not that one. Your other mouth.

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Thus solving the problem once and for all.

The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. Now that is ironyyy

I was gonna go yachting in those feet!

"I'm having one of those things! You know? A headache with pictures"

"... An idea?"

"So, what you think you just explained was..."

"That's right. This box contains our own universe!"

My only regret is that I have boneitis

Bender, depressed walks up to a bar:

"Gimmie your largest, strongest, cheapest drink"

Nibbler: It's a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time... and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather.

fry: I did do the nasty in the past-y.

Nibbler: Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains.

Hey, Professor. You're a professor.

Farnsworth: Dear Lord! That's over 150 atmospheres of pressure!

Fry: How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?

Farnsworth: Well, it's a space ship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

Gundersons Nuts! They're Nut so good!

I'm Shocked. SHOCKED! well not that shocked.

Hey. Fry. Pizza going out. C'MON!

Its actually from that same scene; "NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH FOR NO RAISIN!!!" I often say "for no raisin!!!" in my daily life. :)

Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!

Robot house

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

“They’re like sex except I’m having them”.

If I don't survive, tell my wife, "Hello".

When they're getting pulled down toward Atlanta:

How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?

Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

"Your mother!"

When you do things right people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

To shreds, you say..

Well, how's his wife holding up? To shreds, you say...

Bender: "So people will actually pay money to find love...? I have an idea, an idea so genius...." gavel sounds "Stupid anti-pimping laws!"

"If we hit that bullseye the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"

“We know nothing about their history, their language, or what they look like, but we can assume this: they stand for everything that we don’t stand for. And also, they told me you guys look like dorks.”

I could do without these boobs flopping about