One for me
this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
591 points (99.0% liked)
The Onion
4708 readers
520 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Lifestyle
π
I need to sign up for in home delivery again. Thanks for the reminder.
I absolutely love getting a physical copy.
My kids don't get the joy I have.
How much could a newspaper cost, $10?
Ohβ¦
εεΏδ»¬,
COMRADES,
YOU WILL LOVE CHAIRMAN XI AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY!
GLORY TO CCP!
LONG LIVE CHAIRMAN XI!
δΈε² δΈε² δΈδΈε²οΌ
/s
You know, I really do feel like as a whole China is becoming more advanced than the U.S. if not already have. And I will fully acknowledge the U.S. backsliding into regressive imperialism. But the booty lickers that are internet tankies have absolutely turned into the most obnoxious know it all suckers for stuff that can be easily overcome with real world experience. And I still carry a strong suspicion that all of their parroted talking points are being spoon fed by some insidious bot farm.
China can be great, but can be terrible. Rural Hukou? (Household Registration) You're already already fucked from the start. ADHD or neurodivergency, well you get treated like shit. Need emergency care, well you're fucked. Oh its not like US fucked with bankrupcy, you literally do not get treated unless you pre-pay or show proof of insurance (which most people do not have at least when I left), its a common tv trope a poor person cannot pay for emergency surgery and have a rich relative to pay for it. Gaokao (Chinese National Examination) is like 10x harder than SAT or ACT. There's just too many people to compete for jobs.
That's not to say the US is great, you just get a slightly better roll of dice in the US. Currently, you are better off in the US than China, even as someone with Chinese ancestry. The freedom and opportunities often outweigh the racism. Just stay away from red states lol.
But the future might change.
Perhaps, one day the racism in the US could outweigh the dictatorship and censorsbip of China.
Time will tell.
As for white or even black people, the USA is definitely better. China just isn't like the USA, its homogenous, not meant for foreigners. Well, unless you get a so-called "white monkey job" which is a pejorative term for white people who are perceived to be hired simply for their looks, and pretend to be a foreign "expert".
Edit: Mixed up perogative and perjorative
Human rights are definitely where they suffer the most I'm sure. The enormous disparity between city and rural quality of life too.
Whatβs your ML username?
No ml account, why?
Will he approve cool dog? I am seeking approval for the cool dog
I have heard from a source on the inside that the cool dog is actually also the woke dog (complimentary, as on 
derogatory) as well 
hexbear user try not to use stupid reaction images in every single fucking post challenge
(physically impossible)
:(
Idk what tone you meant for that exactly but, asking genuinely, why do you dislike them? I just use cuz they're fun imo and sometimes help clarify meaning of sentences. I do try to be cognizant of where I am on our federated network and avoid using the ones that represent some kind of Hexbear inside joke lol, like those ones don't. I know I'm not alone in using them for those reasons cuz even Reddit supports inline reaction images these days lol. Besides all the social platforms supporting them (mainly cuz people like to use them imo), even Unicode's emoji partly consist of a bunch of assignments for common reaction images lol (although, π€, cuz they do have to work in a global context they are usually much more strictly semantically defined and unspecific)
I don't like them because they're often ambiguous or even obfuscation.
I also don't like them because emoticons are the superior format.
Taiwan is not a country
Technically Correct. It's official name is not "Republic of Taiwan" it's "Republic of China", which officially consists of Mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau, and Taiwan.
Currently, Mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau, are under rebel occupation by the so-called "People's Liberation Army" commanded by the "Communist Party of China". Taiwan is the only remaining area under ROC control, along with the Kinmen Islands as part of the "Free Area of Republic of China".
Well, at least, that's the official view held by the Government in Taiwan, anyways. They never officially claimed to be "Republic of Taiwan", but are, nevertheless, a de facto country under the name of "Republic of China".
$10.99
That's 10.55 EUR. Is that normal for a newspaper?
The onion CEO
You better fucking subscribe to The Onion
I love everything about this.
Based
Omg Tim Onion I love it
Was thinking about subscribing a month or two ago. Then they bought infowars and I immediately threw 100 bucks at them.
Damn it, blood snow AGAIN? Happens every time I make plans ugh
That weather is wild now days.
It's snowing men, Hallelujah!
They should make an online version too.
This was how I was first introduced to the Onion in '95
... I'm gonna sign up for this!
Is there a way to gift a subscription/membership to someone? I can just enter their address for the delivery, but there're lots of other membership benefits they wouldn't get because they'd be on "my" account π€
they mailed it to me under the name JoYo so they don't need the name to be accurate.
I think I donated under PayPal.
$100/year is still pretty steep for me.
Joking aside, totally understandable.
Yeah, I want to support them just for that.
There's a print addition?
Always has been.
*edition