this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2024
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His diet is horrid. He only eats McDonald's, and maybe KFC, but i'm not too sure. He only drinks coca cola. He's probably being pumped full of every fucking drug imaginable. There's no way in hell this man is not on his death bed

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[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 41 points 1 day ago (1 children)

he'll live to 110 because this is hell

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Of course he will. He has access to the absolute best healthcare on the planet. Once he jumps back in the saddle were some medical emergency to happen, Democrats like Fetterperson will be howling about how he’s our president and he deserves it. For Democracy and shit. D’s and R’s will move heaven and earth to get him whatever lifesaving procedure he needs to bloodlet the fish delights coursing thru his veins.

Man has access to healthcare none of us can comprehend. He isn’t going anywhere short of an outright heart explosion.

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

Democrats like Fetterperson

michael-laugh

[–] Carcharodonna@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Trump winning the election then dying before taking office would be pretty convenient for the people who actually run the empire. Just saying.

[–] myrrh@ttrpg.network 5 points 1 day ago

...yes, it's better for him to survive the next 50 months than the alternative: bart simpson in the white house vs. someone competently malicious...

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If they can keep Biden alive they can keep Trump alive

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

They can't do much about the dementia thing though!

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

all those things have the best preservatives that modern science can buy; maybe they're so effective that they're preserving him as well. lol

[–] borschtisgarbo@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 1 day ago

He's embalming himself

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

I think he's right about his idea that human bodies are like batteries but it only applies to him. If he can stay under, say, 50 steps a day he'll live to 120

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I'm still thinking the funniest possible result is he *does before taking office.

Although what might be funnier is if he *does before starting his third term, after going through all the trouble of actually running again.

*Dies

What the hell autocorrect??

[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

He gets elected for a 3rd term, libs huff and puff about the rules but take no action. He dies of natural causes just before his 3rd term starts and libs cheer about how they saved America

[–] hello_hello@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

Jizz D. Vance becoming president would be funny I admit.

not just coca cola diet coke that shit is extra poison