this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
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[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 39 points 6 days ago (13 children)

Urinals should definitely exist because they speed things up a ton. If you're too shy to piss into a urinal just go to the shitter instead. But don't dare try to take the speed and convenience away from the rest of us, goddammit!

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[–] bluewing@lemm.ee 58 points 6 days ago (15 children)

This cartoon can't exist. Urinal etiquette requires:

That you should have one empty urinal between you and the next guy if at all possible. And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.

And that you look straight ahead and never look to either side of you. You must stare solely at the wall straight ahead of you. Thoughtful establishments hang pictures or current sales flyers at eye level to look at while peeing.

And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there. So there is absolutely no way this cartoon can happen in the real world.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 16 points 6 days ago (2 children)

if at all possible

I hate that I'm arguing the reality of a comic world, but we can't see the rest of the wall. We don't know if there's 2/3 urinals total, making it impossible to leave a buffer urinal between them.

Also, without considering it a "rule" I leave an empty urinal between as well, but I don't go as far as resorting to using a stall if I only have to pee. That's just silly...

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[–] tatterdemalion@programming.dev 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (9 children)

You're kidding yourself. The norm in American bars is to have two urinals whose porcelain touches, and everyone pees with their buddy while having a boisterous chat.

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[–] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 73 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Well. This comic certainly isn't making it easier.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 43 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Why are you reading comics at the urinal while you're trying to pee?

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It helps me relax. Usually.

[–] fjordbasa@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)
[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

And a phone.

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[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 32 points 6 days ago (2 children)

The movie 'Waiting' has a character whose entire arc is them trying to get over urinal anxiety while working one crazy shift at an Applebee's clone.

Early Ryan Reynolds. Some of the humor hasn't aged well, but it shines a light on the service industry for those that haven't worked in a kitchen/bar/restaurant.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 7 points 6 days ago (8 children)

I remember a movie called Caffeine from when I was a kid and one of the characters had a nervous bladder. One of his friends kept telling him it might be prostate cancer (while he was trying to pee) and it only made him more frustrated and nervous.

Later in the movie, someone is being mean to him and he just snaps and lies saying, "You know what? I've got cancer! So back off!"

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[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 44 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I lived in a house once that had a urinal and it was the best thing ever, especially for the first pee of the day. Normalize home urinals!

[–] kungen@feddit.nu 34 points 6 days ago (5 children)

All houses have at least one urinal. The cool thing is, you're also able to wash your hands in it afterwards!

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[–] MightyCuriosity@sh.itjust.works 25 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Use a urinal while wearing shorts and you'll change your opinion. I avoid them as much as I can preferring to sit, but sometimes that option is worse than the urinal..

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 12 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Well, it doesn't work so well with morning wood, but at all other times I aim toward the bottom so the pee's hitting the back wall at less than about a 30° angle. I guess compared to sitting there's gonna be more splash back, but even with shorts I don't really notice anything. I'm sure it'd be different if you power blast the wall or base at 90°.

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[–] vallode@lemmy.world 22 points 6 days ago (7 children)

Why is this post full of people who are seemingly overtly defensive over the idea of urinals? Did I miss something? The comic is a joke. Every other poster here trying to make sure everyone knows they can and will always use a urinal. An ode of fragile masculinity.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Did I miss something?

Sounds like you missed the toilet OOOOOHHHHH

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm here trying to understand what's wrong with urinals lmao

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

They're just bad. The pro is that they take up less space so more people can pee in parallel vs toilets.

The con is that using one without splashing piss all over everything is a skill check.

The BigO of urinal is basically "piss on a wall"

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

Let's be honest. Standing and peeing anywhere is a skill check that only about half of us pass reliably.

I'd much rather my co workers miss the urinal than miss the bowl. Those animals don't always lift the seat before they piss all over it.

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[–] infinite_ass@leminal.space 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

This reply makes me feel defensive and outraged.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

It has nothing to do with fragile masculinity, and everything to do with the dysfunctional personalities of Lemmy users.

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Just don't shake it more than twice while its in your hand and the police needn't be involved

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 23 points 6 days ago (4 children)

No matter how many times you shake it, the last drop will still end in your pants

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[–] Drusas@fedia.io 13 points 6 days ago

When I lived in Japan, I really appreciated how the women's public bathroom stalls often had this little button you could push to make a white noise sound.

So glad I got over that peeing in public anxiety eventually, though.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 14 points 6 days ago (5 children)

More of a communal trough man myself

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[–] DuckWrangler9000@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I don't mind urinals. It just sucks when you have to double or triple up on them. Sharing with someone else just isn't fun

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

You may be joking, but the ones that are just a trough with no barriers at all between them I always hated. I don't want my shoulders touching 1 or 2 other guys while holding my dick in my hand trying to convince myself I am not to nervous to pee.

They were common in country themed bars for a while, I would have to be drunk and NEEDing to pee to be able to go. So usually I just stopped going to those places.

[–] cro_magnon_gilf@sopuli.xyz 4 points 5 days ago

A club popular with 18-year olds in my city had the most effective piss-room I've ever seen. Troughs on three full walls and they were always busy. You'd wait for 1 second and then get a spot where you could squeeze in, shoulder to shoulder with other guys. You'd feel the steam rising up and washing past your face. 10 seconds later, you stepped out and another guy would instantly take your place.

It was incredible. I've never seen such efficiency anywhere else.

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[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago (2 children)

This hits me deep. I will often walk into a bathroom and walk right out if I see too many people. I'll either find a quieter bathroom or just hold it because it's physically impossible for me to pee if I can sense anybody within close proximity. Sadly, that applies to stalls too.

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[–] sasquash@sopuli.xyz 22 points 6 days ago (4 children)

I don't understand why they don't just install partitions. One that goes from the very bottom to the very top. A thin plank would do it. Not these 50cm pseudo partitions. That's why I prefer to use a cabin when a lot of people are peeing.

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[–] dumbass@leminal.space 24 points 1 week ago (4 children)

You do know it's not a requirement to use the urinal, they also have private pee booths as well.

[–] MummifiedClient5000@feddit.dk 45 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Us normal pissers also listen to the booths when we suspect a weener-holder.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 13 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

That's why I act like I'm pooping. I'll sit down and make grunt noises while aiming my piss at the side of the bowl so no one hears I'm actually peeing. Because that's less embarrassing than knowing you all think I'm too afraid to piss in front of you. I even pull toilet paper out and wipe it on my thigh so all you actual Weiner holders believe I'm wiping my ass. Who's the fool now? Not only was I too afraid to pee in front of you, I convinced you I was taking a manly shit while you probably nodded in approval at the other Weiner holders next to you. Check mate.

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[–] randon31415@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (4 children)

The only evidence of the "grand gay conspiracy" people keep talking about is the existence of bath-tub (multi-user) urinals.

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[–] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Legend has it that alpha males stand in front of each other when they pee, looking straight into each other's eyes and sometimes arm wrestling with their free hand.

[–] rbm4444@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

Well...I have paruresis and it was a struggle when I used to go to nightclubs and use the urinals, for some reason there was always only one toilet and a bunch of urinals, so I had to get drunk fast to be able to use the urinals like a normal guy. Most of the time the bathroom door didn't have a lock, so I'm glad I never had to do number 2 there.

[–] jaschen@lemm.ee 6 points 6 days ago

Basically my nightmare.

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