this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2023
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Carlos Santana, Alice Cooper, Róisín Murphy, Dave Chappelle, J.K. Rowling, Harry Jowsey, Bette Midler, Macy Gray, Kevin Hart, John Cleese

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[–] Quexotic@beehaw.org 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I find this kind of article discouraging for two different reasons. First, the initial statement that it makes, what's on the surface. You see all these people making all these horrible comments and it's sad.

The other thing that's just as discouraging to me is the reaction. From what I understand the best way to approach this kind of thing is through education and compassion, ultimately leading to conversion.

You'll never convince anyone by screaming at them and you'll just bring yourself "to their level"

What I would like to see instead It's for everyone to be a little bit more like Daryl Davis. Now I understand that not everyone has the patience of Daryl Davis, but I think this man's example is the ultimate model to follow.

For those who don't already know, Daryl Davis is an African American blues musician but spent his free time converting a couple hundred Klan members from being racist. I understand that's a really clumsy way to say it but I really don't have a better term for that because people don't typically believe that people can be converted from racism. This dude did it.

What I find really discouraging is that the anger, the vitriol, the pain at hearing these things come out of people's faces is fully human, a natural response, a normal response. What I fear is that if we don't all become like Daryl will none of us survive. What I fear is that it's not fair to expect many people to become like Daryl at all.

There's just too much money to be made peddling rage.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@beehaw.org 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh god, not this bullshit again

Transphobes can eat my ass

[–] Drewelite@lemmy.villa-straylight.social 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ok well while they do that, they're still voting and spreading their ideas to like minded individuals. I'm not saying we normalize their behavior. Fuck that backwards shit. But your dismissive attitude only serves to alleviate your own burden of interacting with them and entrenching them further in their hatred of those with other options.

Feel free to disagree, because I definitely understand the mental difficulty of dealing with people that just want to hate. So I'd love an alternative. But treating people as disposable ain't it, I'm afraid.

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[–] cubedsteaks@lemmy.today 7 points 1 year ago (9 children)

What I would like to see instead It’s for everyone to be a little bit more like Daryl Davis. Now I understand that not everyone has the patience of Daryl Davis, but I think this man’s example is the ultimate model to follow.

damn that was an interesting read.

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This comment restored a little of my faith in humanity today. Thanks. I know a lot of people understand this. But the loudest people on the internet don't and that can be discouraging.

[–] ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Social change is created by social friction. It always has been and always will be.

And you're right, we won't change the bigots and pull them out of bigotry. But they're not the point. The goal is to challenge the social norms that they are creating, because it's those norms that create new bigots.

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[–] Metal_Zealot@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago

You could easily change the headline to "Out of touch old people you forgot about and still think it's 1975"

[–] HappyMeatbag@beehaw.org 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I have a little bit of sympathy for people who are from another era, and are stubborn but not intentionally hateful or dismissive. The Bette Midler quote is the only example from this article. Before, she’d never come across as someone who judges people or wants to treat them like second class citizens.

She should have kept her mouth shut, at least. Although making an uninformed remark is quicker and easier than educating yourself, I wish she had taken the time.

Santana, however, can kiss my ass.

[–] gk99@beehaw.org 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have a little bit of sympathy for people who are from another era

I don't. Trans people are a new thing for me too, they didn't "exist" in my formative years. I grew up in Oklahoma surrounded by conservative Bible-belt redneck N-word-spouting family, at a public school where "gay" and "hermaphrodite" were used as gym insults. I'm a straight-passing white cis male with pretty blue eyes, the least oppressed motherfucker out here and a perfect candidate for growing up to be a shitty supremacist.

Yet I'm the farthest thing from one, because all it actually takes is asking myself "Why should I have a problem with this? Does it affect anyone other than the person being made happier?" When the answer comes up as "no," it's A-OK in my book. And don't get me started on the pricks who think "but I'm Christian!!!" is an excuse for anything, God is supposed to judge us, not my asshole neighbor Karen who grew up on leaded gas and cigarettes.

[–] HappyMeatbag@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Cool. Maintaining flexibility is hard. I wish more people were better at it.

Part of my “cut them a bit of slack” attitude comes from personal experience. I’ve been watching an otherwise good person shift gradually further right. Since retirement, they watch TV almost constantly, which unfortunately includes Fox News (I was going to say “too much Fox News”, but any amount of that crap is too much).

[–] FfaerieOxide@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This feels like giving these people—some of whom you haven't otherwise thought of in years—free press for being pieces of shit.

Why not do write ups on people not sucking?

[–] liv@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I have never heard of Harry Jowsey, but if this write-up about him is accurate, it sounds like the author found nine celebrities making transphobic comments and then just added this random homophobe so that the headline could say 10? Am I missing something?

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemdro.id 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It was someone the author knew from school.

This'll show 'em

[–] liv@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ha ha! Not because I haven't heard of him, I meant the article's description of him is that he dated a trans woman and is supportive of transwomen.

The thing he did that's phobic, according to this article, is he called James Charles a f****, which is homophobic, not transphobic.

Ironically when I googled this I found James Charles seems to have said some transphobic things about not being 100% gay because he is attracted to transgender men. Maybe he could take this list slot.

[–] Leafeytea@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago

The only comment that did not surprise me from this list was the one from Macy Gray. I loved her music a lot when her first album dropped; then made the mistake of going to one of her shows. I was pretty disappointed by her behaviour on stage due to some of her comments, which let's just say were less than kind for some people in the audience.

[–] valentino@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Great celebrities

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