this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 103 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

They're there to steal cum so that Chinese scientists can synthesize the DNA and create the world's most annoying person in a lab

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 35 points 4 weeks ago

New site tag line.

[–] quarrk@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago

Annoying person manufacturing process

Step 1: Load paper into paper tray

xi-vote

Step 2: Print (Ctrl + P)

xi-button

Step 3: Receive WMDs

kubrick-stare kubrick-stare kubrick-stare kubrick-stare kubrick-stare kubrick-stare kubrick-stare kubrick-stare kubrick-stare kubrick-stare

[–] booty@hexbear.net 76 points 4 weeks ago

All of them. They're all spies. Better stay away from them. (seriously pls stay away from them they shouldn't have to waste their time weeding out you racist fucks)

[–] Xiisadaddy@lemmygrad.ml 61 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

China pls send me handsome chinese men to "spy" on me by entering into a wholesome and loving relationship and building a life together. When his sleeper cell trigger is activated ill still support my king!

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 41 points 4 weeks ago

Lol exactly. If I was getting honeypotted, I'd be so psyched... You mean I get to get laid AND leak state secrets? Count me in!

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 59 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

God that has to be the most LARPy, wannabe Burn After Reading sub imaginable

[–] stink@lemmygrad.ml 37 points 4 weeks ago

These spies are definitely gonna seduce you James Bond style so they can... see your pivot tables with useless information

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 30 points 4 weeks ago

....imagine caring about security but you post on r*ddit and use dating apps. Neither of those things are secure lmao (neither is Hexbear but I figure dorks on here know that).

[–] FLAMING_AUBURN_LOCKS@hexbear.net 55 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Chinese woman here! i sucked Matt Gaetz off so good that he told me the Floridian nuclear launch codes. I will be personally handing them to Xi Jinping and the Ayatollah at the next BRICS meeting

[–] nohaybanda@hexbear.net 32 points 4 weeks ago

The one case where it’s fair to ask “But at what cost?”

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 25 points 4 weeks ago

tyfys, ma'am

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 55 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Very norm multicultural pluralism emd of histpry thoughts.

[–] lil_tank@hexbear.net 35 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Comrade you might need to take a break from the posting spree

You've made three typos in this one

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 31 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

Pffffft I have a new phone, the first smart phone I've ever owned without a keyboard. It is really taking the joy out of posting. : (

I'm working on a solution but I'm low on resources right now and I can't get all the materials I need to fix the issue.

[–] lil_tank@hexbear.net 14 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Oh okay I understand! I still make typos on touchscreens all the time after years using them. I just got used to double checking to correct them. Too young to have ever owned a physical keyboard phone but I totally see why people miss them

[–] Red_Eclipse@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I actually thought you might have been high on cold medicine again lmao

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago

Lol valid guess. : )

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Can you still do that? I thought they banned codine except with a scrip.

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[–] miz@hexbear.net 10 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

you may already know, but if you hold down for a keypress it should highlight the key and you can drag to adjust

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not sure what you mean? I can move keys around on the keyboard?

[–] miz@hexbear.net 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

instead of tapping at a touchscreen keyboard, press and hold and the key will pop up. if you drag it will move along the keyboard and you can release when the key you want is highlighted

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 10 points 4 weeks ago

Oh, gotcha, swipe and gestures and stuff. I dislike that whole input system. It's excruciatingly slow. On a good day I can hit 50-60 wpm on my old blackberry keyboard.

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 30 points 4 weeks ago

The typos were meant to be symbolic of the social and personal decay being observed

in my headcanon

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 49 points 4 weeks ago

Mans will say this and act like they're not ridiculously propagandised. Genuinely what the fuck

[–] dkr567@hexbear.net 45 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

And these idiots really have the audacity to say Chinese people are brainwashed.

[–] Ivysaur@hexbear.net 38 points 4 weeks ago

Everything Americans say projection

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 43 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Guy who definitely gets laid: ”I am being surveilled on tinder by clandestine agents from the People’s Republic of China.”

[–] Alisu@hexbear.net 22 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 7 points 4 weeks ago

Volcel! Now!

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[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 8 points 4 weeks ago

wait actually,

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 35 points 4 weeks ago

1/10 is a tiny number how racist is this guy

[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 24 points 4 weeks ago
[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 20 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Quite a few of them are bots trying to sell Crypto

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 25 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Imagining a guy who is stoked that he got his first match on tinder in weeks from a beautiful woman after sifting through all of the PRC agents trying to nab his security clearance, only to receive these messages consecutively:

Heyyyy I’m bored what’s up

Lol you’re so funny.

Oh wait that reminds me, a lotta yall still dont get it

ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape

so if you have 1 astro ape and 3 slurp juices you can create 3 new apes

Tonight's slurp juice mint event is essentially a minting event for both Lab Monkes and Special Forces

[redeem-your-slurpjuicseshere.now.net/obviousscam]

[–] darkmode@hexbear.net 19 points 4 weeks ago

Don’t worry fellas, I’ll do us all a solid and match with them, fall in love, then break their hearts so totally that they can no longer continue spying. God Bless Amerika :07:

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 17 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

all of them bro, they'll seduce you and tie you to a bed and steal all your SEED VOLCEL POLICE HELP

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[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Insert jordan-eboy-peterson sex dungeon tweet.

up-yours-woke-moralists This is where the SEE PEE PEE train their CUMMUNIST agents on. Grueling and unusual sex slaves, bred for training Chinese hawt sickubus CUMMIES to undermine and destroy the West from within. This is why it is so perilous for young sicko-zoomer these days. We must end this scourge against our future Volcel army!

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago

This is literally the least racist reddit user.

[–] MarieFontenot@hexbear.net 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] bunnygirl@hexbear.net 5 points 4 weeks ago

Spies Are Forever (2016)

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