Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
Please be kind and respectful to all.
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Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 1 year ago

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LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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i mean, at least they didnt give me bad advice (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by janet_catcus@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

8 comments fedilink hide all child comments

well, thanks.

all 9 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Could your wife just be being a good partner and offering to help shoulder the load?

[–] janet_catcus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 weeks ago

thats what i hope for

[–] BaumGeist@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

so, correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds to me like your financial problems are causing a strain on you both, but you don't want to cede control over the finances because you've tied your sense of self-worth to your status as the breadwinner?

I've been there myself, but that didn't work out for entirely separate reasons; she's still my best friend (she's just straight). Looking back, I feel gross about wanting her to be dependent on me but not being okay with being dependent on her. I get there's different types of dependence, and emotional is just as important as financial, but still...

Maybe it would help to reframe this as a tenporary support to get to where you need to be, instead of a new normal. This can be your chance to focus on transition, or mental health, or career aspirations; it doesn't have to be you saddling her with more responsibilities and becoming a deadweight.

[–] janet_catcus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 weeks ago

but you don’t want to cede control over the finances because you’ve tied your sense of self-worth to your status as the breadwinner?

that's not it.

i wouldnt mind handing that status off, but i do mind that she wont be able to pursue her creative career while out cleaning some shitty offices.

im sorry it did not work out for you.

but who said anything about me becoming a deadweight wth? i didnt quit. i still have a job. i should just remove this

[+] lurch@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

[deleted]

[–] janet_catcus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 weeks ago

it has been legalized this year... but we are both bumbling idiots around plants... i had prepared around 50 paprika seeds (i didnt count, but threw away half of them because i had no space to plant them) had them sprouting and all... and now, weeks later, only two survived. but havent grown at all after the initial growth spurt... it was 6 that were growing okish, but idk... either the cat ate them or they drowned... bc of the cat, i had put a netting across the ... "plantation" ... but that was weeks ago and them fuckers arent growing at all ._.

we're waiting for the state to stop being a bumbling idiot about allowing the now legallized cannabis grow-clubs to actually grow cannabis. apparently the clubs need someone with some qualification that has been invented just for this but not yet implemented... maybe next year... (i expect shortly thereafter the law to change again and pot becoming illegal again)

[–] lung@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It's quite rare for growing pot to be profitable now, prices are way down. Months of labor, space to grow, nutrients, pest controls, lights, drying, etc

[–] janet_catcus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 weeks ago

prices are way down

in your local bubble perhaps, here it's as expensive as always..

[–] tomcatt360@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 weeks ago

I feel for you friend. Keep on keeping on. I'm here for you