this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
1229 points (98.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26877 readers
3159 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 104 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I know a large portion of them genuinely don't believe in the science or what have you, but a majority of them simply don't give a fuck, because they've been promised a golden mansion and all of their loved ones healthy and happy. And all they have to do is stay meek and easily forgive all transgressions until they die. Then they're free!

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

HA! Meek and forgiving my ass.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They forgive the real aggressors and unload all that anger at targets chosen by the very same aggressors.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 9 points 2 months ago

Bullies 4 life

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

This guy gets it.

Sorry. Lady.

[–] TedZanzibar 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Yeah this. Shortly before he left the church, a friend of mine's pastor told him not to recycle because it delays the end times. These people want Armageddon and think they're doing god's work by hurrying it along.

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

According to mainstream Christianity, that's trying to force God to do something. And the Bible is clear that nobody, not even the faithful, will know when the end times will come.

Not that I care, being an atheist. But these people make shit up without even bothering to see if it's consistent with the shit that's already been made up.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

How about this, if god has a plan, all prayer for favoritism is a subversive of that plan. People will pray for their kid's little league team to win, but eye ball parasites must stay.

[–] Forester@yiffit.net 6 points 2 months ago

“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.".

I feel like I should start calling myself an ironic Christian because I've actually read the book.

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 months ago

Making decisions in God's name - that should be heretical or something?

[–] mcz@lemmy.world 59 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

tinfoil hat wearing doomsday preppers: what if there's a disease outbreak? we should learn how to be independent and how to take care of our health

scientists: well, there is

tinfoil hat wearing doomsday preppers: no zombies? must be fake news :(

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

There are doomsday prepper magazines, which seems like it would be a poor business model if they were right, what with it relying on future issues coming out to sell advertising.

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 11 points 2 months ago

I dunno, sounds pretty good to me. If you're wrong, there's always the mystery of what the future could bring to sell your magazines. If you're right, you've suddenly got a huge list of addresses for people you know are probably well stocked with pretty much whatever you told them they needed.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

My perspective has been that if things really do go to shit to the level of what peppers believe, financial stuff won't really matter unless you've invested in setting up a self-sufficient compound. And even then, owning such a compound would likely be as much of a liability than an asset because unless there's many such compounds, you're going to get swarmed by anyone who hears about it, so you'll also need security forces and equipment to defend it.

And if you have a small army on the compound, good luck not getting couped by them.

A business venture like a magazine would be completely irrelevant if society ends. But it might make a decent income in the time between now and the end. And it'll be kinda like religion: once anyone is in a position to find out how good any of your advice really was, they won't likely be in a position to get upset with you if it was all just made up.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

God, that pissed me off so much about the "tough as nails" types. They act like they're so self sufficient, but the moment a slight inconvenience happened to their entitled lives, they expected the world to bend over backwards for them. Mean while, when I heard that we could have regular, week long power outages because the pole workers might end up hospitalized, I was setting up my generator with a hundred days of fuel.

It was so disappointing when AvE came out in support of the trucker's protest. Up until that point, he always seemed smarter then that.

[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

To reuse that old joke

"~~Libertarians~~ Doomsday preppers are like house cats: absolutely convinced of their fierce independence while utterly dependent on a system they don't appreciate or understand"

[–] abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 months ago

I mean basically this: They expect something like a Movie but when something happens in reality they turn around and are like "nope".

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 57 points 2 months ago

Dear Milena,

I wish the world were ending tomorrow. Then I could take the next train, arrive at your doorstep in Vienna, and say: “Come with me, Milena. We are going to love each other without scruples or fear or restraint. Because the world is ending tomorrow.” Perhaps we don’t love unreasonably because we think we have time, or have to reckon with time. But what if we don't have time? Or what if time, as we know it, is irrelevant? Ah, if only the world were ending tomorrow. We could help each other very much.

Franz Kafka

[–] ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc 52 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (6 children)

Christians in 1st century: the world is ending very soon!
Muslims in 7th century: the world is ending very soon!
Mormons in 19th century: the world is ending very soon!

Given enough apocalyptic religions one of them would be right, but I think that religion doesn't exist yet.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Apocalypticism will always be in fashion.

[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

When you make people follow bunch of rules that nobody else follows, you need some kind of carrot to dangle in front of them. Salvation and afterlife rewards don't cost anything and there's zero chance you need to pay up or get called no your bullshit. Win-win.

[–] Zoboomafoo@slrpnk.net 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Mine says the world has already ended, does that count?

[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 months ago

The classical options are that the world will end in the future, is currently ending, or ended in the past. Today, I'm here to tell you that there is another option: the world never even existed. Poof!

[–] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Christians in the 1st century? So people that followed Paul after he wrote the earliest texts around 50-60AD?

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Peter himself.

And then before the turn of the 5th century, the 10th century, the 15th century... Christians do love those round numbers.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Yahweh cult was a doomsday cult wasn't it?

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Yeah, there was a series of crazy cults by the 20th century too. But they were a much smaller share of the people.

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Not all early Christians followed Paul. The church in Jerusalem under James was at odds with Paul on a number of subjects. There were also more radical groups outside Jerusalem that combined Christianity with Greek philosophy, having women preaching and leading congregations, and incorporating various mystical beliefs that didn't originate in Judaism or the teachings of Jesus.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Matthew 16:28 - “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

Jesus himself said that his own followers would be alive to see the end of the world. Hence the medieval legend of The Wandering Jew.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wandering_Jew

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 months ago

The mayan one in 2012 was the best one so far. There was some real hype about it, movies, media, news, everyone was on it.

In the end it turned out that it was the day Gangnam Style became the first youtube video reaching 1 billion views. Some would say it really was the apocalypse.

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The Muslims have never had a big, convoluted End Times mythos like the Christians, at least not in the Qur'an. At some point in the indefinite future, there will be Judgement Day, and everybody living or dead will get hauled in front of Allah and the recording angel will play back your scorecard. Then it's Jinnah (heaven) or Jehenna (hell).

There are quite a number of hadiths (extra-scriptural reports of things Muhammad said or did) that talk about the end times. Hadiths are assessed by Islamic scholars based on their provenance and general credibility. Those originating from people close to the Prophet are ranked higher; those that contradict the Qur'an are downgraded. Most of the non-Qur'anic end times narratives sound very similar to Christian eschatology, except that the Mahdi, the successor prophet to Muhammad, appears. Jesus (Issa) returns (and maybe he's the same guy as the Mahdi?), there's the Antichrist (the Dajjal) stirring up mischief, there are signs and portents, the giants Gog and Magog running amok, the stars fall from the sky as meteors, etc, etc.

It's not as entertaining as Ragnarök, but it's more coherent than the Christian fundies' fanfic.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

As always, Wikipedia is a good resource here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events

Incomplete, obviously.

[–] abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 2 months ago (3 children)

American Evangelicals: THE RAPTURE IS COMING AND THE TRIBULATION IS NIGH!

Jehovah's witnesses: THEY ARE COMING FOR US, THEY'RE COMING FOR US BECAUSE WE'RE WITNESSES!

Mormons: WE'RE GONNA NEED THE FOOD STORES WE WERE TOLD TO MAKE, JUST YOU WAIT!

Scientists: Climate Change will lead to everything going to shit if we don't do shit now.

All of them together: BULLSHIT!

[–] Delta_V@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Scientists: Climate Change will lead to everything going to shit if we don’t change our gluttonous ways and become good stewards of Creation.

Supply Side Jesus: HERESY!

[–] menemen@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You send me looking and at least the JW believe in climate change and argue that it was foretold in the Bible.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Noot noot! I love you Pingu.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I loved Pingu. Then they did the 2000s version with the guy who got the voice totally wrong and fuck that.

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The late Carlo Bonomi was the original voice actor of Pingu.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And the poor guy in La Linea. Another old favorite of mine.

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 2 points 2 months ago

Yeah that was brilliant, had to look it up though. Then I recalled watching that at my grandparents house back in the 70s.

Thank you for bringing good memories back.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

To be fair there are a lot of factions that accept Climate Change as a reality, they just think it's a good thing because the end of the world means they go to Heaven and their enemies go to Taco Bell

[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 months ago

The prophecy is true:

Taco Bell will win the fast food wars.

[–] raker@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I hereby decree that religion must always keep 100 meters (328.084 feet) away from science.

[–] dullbananas@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What about the way in which Pope Francis touches science?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago
[–] CazzoneArrapante@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Maybe it's time to enact authoritarian measures against these people.

load more comments
view more: next ›