this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 128 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I'm not sure what other outcome this woman could reasonably have expected.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

For real, especially if they were role playing up to that point. I know all the Wario stans would gladly take a hot glazing of Wum to the face but you gotta expect the waaaaaaaaaaah.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 3 points 4 days ago

She's probably as autistic as OP but she probably a cute girl so had load of normal guys smashing and didn't really have to think about much.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 79 points 5 days ago (2 children)

This sounds like one of those teen movies from the early 2000s.

This whole scenario could have been Stifler from American Pie. Dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago

I'd rent that at the BlockBuster for ¢99.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] Huschke@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

But... but... he dared you... How dare you!

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Swords at midnight.

There can be only one.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

/slaps you with a steel gauntlet of enduring numbness +4

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 48 points 5 days ago (1 children)

RP verisimilitude > enjoyable sex

I don't make the rules

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 28 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I had to look that word up

sex noun 1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. "they enjoyed talking about sex"

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Where did you find that definition? That wasn't the definition I remembered so I looked it up too and I found what I thought it was but not what you found. Was that on urban dictionary?

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

He had to look up the word sex.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Ahhh my bad, I'm dumb and read it wrong, ty

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 50 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 28 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Senseless@feddit.org 6 points 5 days ago

terminal cancer

[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 36 points 5 days ago

imma Wario ima gonna cum!

This better not awaken anything in me.jpeg

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago

Just because of that? Was the rest of the sex also disappointing?

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

fake && gay

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago

Was anon's spouse the Mario at the swinger party?

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

He wario'd to completion

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Nobody would get horny at that party.

[–] bilb@lem.monster 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? I'm getting horny over here just masturbating about it.

[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You did not had to share this fact with us.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Yes he did. It's in his contact.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

Nerds know how to get down, bro.