Explanation: In the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest, three legions (~15,000 soldiers) were ambushed and slaughtered by Germanic tribes. This was largely due to the incompetence of the Roman commander in charge, Quinctilius Varus, who died in the course of the battle. Emperor Augustus was so distraught over this massive loss of trained men that he was said to wander the halls of his palace even years later, crying, "QUINCTILIUS VARUS, GIVE ME BACK MY LEGIONS!"
Caesar ain't lookin' for a boyfriend or a girlfriend here. He just wants his goddamn legions!
