this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2024
220 points (95.8% liked)

Today I Learned

17733 readers
305 users here now

What did you learn today? Share it with us!

We learn something new every day. This is a community dedicated to informing each other and helping to spread knowledge.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must begin with TIL. Linking to a source of info is optional, but highly recommended as it helps to spark discussion.

** Posts must be about an actual fact that you have learned, but it doesn't matter if you learned it today. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.**



Rule 2- Your post subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your post subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Posts and comments which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding non-TIL posts.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-TIL posts using the [META] tag on your post title.



Rule 7- You can't harass or disturb other members.

If you vocally harass or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.

For further explanation, clarification and feedback about this rule, you may follow this link.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.

Unless included in our Whitelist for Bots, your bot will not be allowed to participate in this community. To have your bot whitelisted, please contact the moderators for a short review.



Partnered Communities

You can view our partnered communities list by following this link. To partner with our community and be included, you are free to message the moderators or comment on a pinned post.

Community Moderation

For inquiry on becoming a moderator of this community, you may comment on the pinned post of the time, or simply shoot a message to the current moderators.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

The love scene in question:

At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.

More review snippets here. One includes the line, "do not read this book." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_Lost#Reception

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] simplejack@lemmy.world 80 points 2 months ago (1 children)

bulbous salutation my dudes

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Most non-non-heinous.

[–] graymess@lemmy.world 75 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's like he wrote an already weird sex scene description, then right clicked every word and chose the last synonym on the list.

[–] cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Someone should start a community for that.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

There was a literary movement called Oulipo that did things like that. What comment-OP described would be a variant of a technique called "n+7": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oulipo#Constraints

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Being a big ou(x)po fan, they at least were good at their work. Highly recommended starting with Italo Calvino's Cosmicomics or If On A Winter's Night A Traveller

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Calvino is absolutely amazing! I devoured Cosmicomics and T Zero when I was in college. The Castleof Crossed Destinies is another one.

I admit, I had a bit of trouble getting through If On A Winter's Night a Traveler. I'm guessing it lost a lot in translation.

His book of Italian Folktales is also very good.

Edit: I just learned about, and ordered, this... a complete collection of the Qfwfq stories, including some never before translated into English- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Cosmicomics

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

On a related note, there's the Bulwer Lytton prize for terribly written introductions to novels. It was based on the 1830 novel Paul Clifford, famous especially for its first line

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulwer-Lytton_Fiction_Contest

[–] MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What did he call it first then? A large hello?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] shig@misanthropolis.xyz 35 points 2 months ago (3 children)

He’s said publicly that he hates sex, so I don’t know what anyone was expecting.

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 87 points 2 months ago (2 children)

He probably hates sex because it requires him to show up and actually perform.

[–] graymess@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Holy shit, that's a good burn.

[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

We'll meet him at the Cemetery Gates.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Probably not the best person to write a sex scene in that case.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I'd hate it too if i thought sex was whatever the fuck this is

[–] cornshark@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)
[–] _pete_@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Odo@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago
[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 11 points 2 months ago
HORNY LEVELS APPROACHING 60 PERCENTAGE POINTS
[–] mememuseum@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I recall there was a dramatic reading of this text many years ago...

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 22 points 2 months ago

One can imagine him struggling to imagine the scene well enough to write it, then going to a toy shop, buying a Barbie and a Ken and spending the next half hour mashing them against each other in an attempt to visualise it.

[–] Diddlydee 17 points 2 months ago

I bought it on account of hearing how bad it was. I wasn't disappointed. It's like The Room in book form, but with unnecessarily flowery language. Brilliantly shite.

[–] noodlejetski@lemm.ee 14 points 2 months ago

"hello, fellow sex havers"

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 12 points 2 months ago

Falls completely flat without Johnny Marr's guitar work.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That's the worst writing I've ever seen. This guy writes for a living? Do people enjoy his works?

Edit: no, and no.

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If you read that in Morrissey's voice with "How Soon Is Now" as an earworm, it is slightly titillating.

ymmv

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I don't want to kink shame.

All I know is I don't want anyone's breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

I assumed that it was like motor-boating except with 360 degrees rotation, which is definitely a normal and not at all weird thing

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

All I know is I don't want anyone's breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.

Damn. There goes a potential match!

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Have you considered providing the chesticles in such a scenario?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] KrankyKong@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've neen dying at "wacked and smaked" for 10 minutes

[–] BodePlotHole@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

He's hackin', wackin' and smackin'!

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago
[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 8 points 2 months ago

That’s a sentence

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Can someone feed that quote into the new, anything goes image generator? I wanna see what a bulbous salutation looks like

[–] JimmyBigSausage@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A musician. Like Cher, he's known by only a single name (though his birth name is Steven).

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] cashmaggot@piefed.social 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I am going to guess he's just borrowing from something from his past but has trouble translating it into something people would more traditionally get. But ultimately, I don't know too much about Morrissey - other than at one point he was liked culturally (by those who listened to him) and then there was a sharp turn in which he is now greatly disliked. I enjoy The Smiths, although I'm not gunna lie and be absolutely honest in that I found them as an adult. But all things aside I am wondering if it's because he is quite vocal about his opinions and they are quite unfavorable. And once you are seen as an "enemy of the status quo" you are open for ridicule as a whole.

But also he gave things a go. Eh.

But I do know he spoke out against meat and the tories. So eh. But someone else is probably way more tuned in on this as a whole over <<< moi.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He's kinda a shithead. And by all accounts enjoys being seen in that light. IMO he claims more than his share for the success of The Smiths. Just listen to any Johnny Marr solo songs and it's clear where their sound came from.

[–] cashmaggot@piefed.social 3 points 2 months ago

Don't know a damn thing about a damn thing here. I really don't know too much about a, b, or c. I just know folks hate him and that's been pretty consistent for quite some time now. Cunts gunna cunt, but I don't think that's too off from how I hear it is with headmen (is that what they call them?) at the time.

load more comments
view more: next ›