Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
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Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
π³οΈββ§οΈ Transmasculine Pride Ring π³οΈββ§οΈ
β¬ οΈ Left π³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ Be Crime Do Gay Webring π³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ Right β‘οΈ
SALUTE
I have barely watched Breaking Bad
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Let's have another good week everyone 
About 4 years ago, I was trying to decide what I was gonna do for nursing school - I had been accepted earlier that year and was also starting to work my way up the ladder of social transition, I was out and open with my then partner, I was in girl clothes all the time at home (which was almost all the time, covid lockdowns), sometimes I was brave and went out in girl clothes. I hemmed and hawed about the decision of if I was gonna boy mode or be out for school for WEEKS.
Ultimately I didn't decide until the first day of classes, I ended up picking to socially transition on a whim lol
I watched The People's Joker on Saturday and LOVED it. I really love that style of weird humor and I want to see more of this kind of thing. Stuff like this. Maybe I should just go watch more Tim and Eric.
I watched this weird 70's murder mystery today called Murder by Natural Causes because I initially thought it I was watching Columbo, but by the time I realized it wasn't Columbo I was into the story and wanted to finish it. It's not a great movie, but it's entertaining and has fun sort of classic silly plot-twist ending I liked. Anyone know where I can watch Columbo online by the way?
Finished Nier: Automata and loved it. So after the main ending, one of the NPCs lets you buy achievements with in-game currency, which I thought was genius and made me question my completionist urges. I looked up some older threads on it and people were predictably angry about it. lol
That big life change I previously talked about is coming fast and I'm simultaneously excited and nervous. Trying to hurry and get everything done that I need to do.
We've been talking a bit in tracha about starting a coven for trans witches. What's a good resource for learning wicca stuff? Can I be a real witch if I'm an atheist and skeptical about superstitions but also enjoy ritual stuff as a form of emotional expression?
What's an obscure piece of pop culture nostalgia you have? When I was a kid, I read these comics called "Ralph Snart Adventures" and still read them. What's something less known that you're into and want to share a bit about it?
Finally ate and took my meds after staring at the wall for a few hours. Feeling a bit more grounded. I decided to go for a drive, now I'm just sitting in the woods.
I feel so lost. I wish I could just be a plant and forget all this.
I fucking hate being recorded 
and apparently the cis don't mind to the same extent, so my demanding not to be feels weird. Still do, cuz fuck 'em, but I hate it. And I hate that its not respected. Like seriously, why are you doing something to me that you know I don't want? wtf? So easy to just stop doing it if you know I'm uncomfortable but I guess no one cares.
I have a really good time to come out, right now. I'm not going to take it, lmao, but deciding not to does hurt a little. I'm sure it'll happen when I'm ready.
CW NSFW
A lot of cishet amateur BDSM is so boring. Wow youβre having sex with some restraints.
Yesterday I faithfully recreated a style of softcore damsel in distress pictures that I saw in the 2000s on the free samples page of a website that no longer exists (except on the way back machine), that had an indelible mark on my sexuality and gender Iβm only just realising.
oh I should probably cw this. Family issues.
My dad just made a comment about my hair getting long and honestly idk how to process it. I'm tired of processing things. I just want to be trans, and in an accepting environment.
I don't know he wasn't particularly bad about it or anything, it was something like "So, are you just going to let your hair grow out or what?". My hair is a lot longer then usual (which I'm loving). I don't know how he meant it, I don't want to spend hours thinking about it, I just want to be done.
Does anyone else like certain names, but you choose not to take them because someone you know also has that name and it would be weird? 
CW; Crimes against humanity, body horror, weirdly personal.
spoiler
Soooo my grandfather was a human test subject on Eniwetok Atoll in the 50s for American nuclear trials. I happen to have polyorchidism. I'm pretty certain it's from radiation causing genetic damage. It gave me a horrible hernia that I had to have fixed at 23. But at the moment my problem is "do they work or not?" I'm on a pretty low dose of E (DIY) and I'm not sure if it's actually suppressing my T production or if I'm just fucking myself up.
Foxes are gay wolves.
gonna start reading beach boys songs as being about the trans experience to piss off 60 year old men
i've figured out my next "gaming" experiences for the moment!
bought a urban fantasy werewolf game and a game about trying to protect your Jewish village situated on the border between Poland and the Ukraine during the end of the 19th century which is probably going to be difficult considering the period and the...place. 
& 
i do love these Choice of Games, games. 
they unite my favourite two things, reading and fanfiction 
Anyone here ever take benzo for anxiety? Did it work for you and would you recommend it?
(for the record I currently take mirtazapine, which i think??? is helping me regulate my mood a bit better because at least i'm not having many days laying in bed all day consumed by thought-spirals. but i still have incredibly bad anxiety especially around texting and communication, as I've mentioned before)
nightmare body horror
Yet another dream where my teeth fall out, or they become loose enough I can just pull a bunch of them out in a chunk like a puzzle piece.
Idk why I dream about this so much, but Iβm glad they are still there.
blegh, sick
felt realy bad today. really bad abdominal pain, that sucked. fucking exhausted too. thirty five mother fucking degrees celcius today in the UK, fuck this. the viewing we went to on the weekend estate agent told us to phone first thing monday morning, did that aaaand appartment already gone. so now I gotta to find another 20 appartments, where I get 1 or 2 viewings, and once again am told no go fuck yourself you can't live here
sorry to bring the vibes down in the new mega. woo! go transness! JK Rowling has been VERY quite after Imaine the Algerian boxer starting filing harassment and defamation suits. and if we know one thing about her black mould addled brain, it's that she NEVER shuts the fuck up, so something must be making her do that after a week of never shutting up about this olumpic boxer
talking about dysphoria/eating/weight issues
I love how my brain just focuses on numbers. Height, weight, calories, doesn't matter. Like a fucking magnet. Its so incredibly toxic to me and with transitioning has only gotten worse. I'm feeling okay right now, but sometimes its just bad. Oh, and seeing other people's numbers. god that might be as bad as thinking about mine. Fucking hell.
But I am feeling good now, just reflecting on how I was feeling earlier/how I have struggled in the past.
I was in a dark mood last night and I avoided the mega so I wouldn't spread my miasma. Sad I missed the posting last night though
Itβs not fun having to just sit around waiting for your epilator to charge because it died halfway through. 
