this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
111 points (89.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26734 readers
1948 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

How many of you consider texting an ex that was an amicable breakup to see if they'd be up for a hookup.

Update : I created a group text with all of them and now we are planning a 30 person Orgy at the Marriott in San Francisco.

Lol jk I just woke up and made eggs.

all 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] beefbaby182@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I'mma leave this up since I'm late to the party on this one and there's already a discussion, but in the future please remember rule #2 and phrase all post titles in the form of a question. This is like Jeopardy! ;)

On that note, if everyone is on board and copacetic, I say go for it and you deserve some mad props for pulling that off.

In my experience, drunk texting an ex is never a good idea, but it takes different strokes to move the world.

[–] meep_launcher@lemm.ee 6 points 3 months ago

Awwww beans, thanks for your flexibility!

From a mod of one community to another- game recognizes game 🏆 thank you for what you do.

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 106 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Don’t ever text an ex while drunk.

Thought: “I want to text my ex”

  1. Is it past 8pm? Do not text.
  2. Are you drunk? Do not text.
  3. Jack off, then consider again if you still want to text
  4. Did you break up with them, leaving mixed feelings? Do not text, you will hurt them
  5. Did they break up with you? Do not text. You will hurt yourself.
  6. Was it a mutual break up? Then why do you want to hook up? Someone will get hurt.

Unless you were previously just a fling/FWB, hooking up randomly with a long term ex is the pathway to pain and hurt, for one or both of you. If one of you is still healing, you will just reopen that wound.

Do not drunk text your ex for a hook up.

[–] ABCDE@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The wanking idea works for me, until I text during it.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

It's a bold move cotton, let's see how it plays out.

[–] mryessir@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 3 months ago

Stopped at "Thought:" and texted my ex.

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 41 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No way, especially not in the past ~4 years. There is only one ex that I consider, and she's specifically on my to don't list because it will end in disaster. But damnnn, she's on the list for a reason. She wasn't particularly gorgeous, sweet, caring,... particularly anything except physical intimacy.

The best description I can give is to imagine if before we are born, we all are given a certain amount of points that we can spend on building our character. Our souls can spread points on a spectrum of traits: intelligence, speed, love, charisma, agility, physical beauty, openness, fine motor skills, music production, etc. Al "Tico" Einstein dropped a majority on intelligence. Leo The Vinchi put a bunch on ingenuity and painting. Great Alex put a bunch on military strategy. This girl, my ex, put a few on looks, a few on being annoying, and dumped the rest on sex. She then used a cheat code to get more points and put those on sex too.

Tho she is quite skilled with certain intimate behaviors, she doesn't do any one thing mind-blowingly well. Her strengths are her attitude, disposition, and desire paired with a body physically fit enough to actualize them. It's like imagine your favorite adult actress, but she's not acting. She is really like that all the time. She could be mad, sleepy, hot, hungry, whatever, it doesn't matter. You could be in the outside pool of some hotel in downtown Tampa during a lightning storm while she is in the middle of one those passionate borderline PD fights with you where you are seriously asking the universe, "Wtf is happeningggg‽😫" It.doesn't.matter. She will flip like a switch and be ready to go Riley-Ried-on-ecstasy wild. That's what this girl is like.

She's kind of ruined sex for me since I keep pointlessly comparing everyone else to her. It's like having a Ferrari for a while, then going back to regular cars. Most of the time you get an Accord, sometimes a Carolla, and when lucky, you get a Nissan Z. Sometimes you get a Mustang, and you can slowly mod it to ride better than the Z. They're all cool and get you there, but no matter what, it'll never be anything like the Ferrari. Even when you're with the Nissan Z and you open the throttle wide, you'll still wish it rode like the Ferrari.

Despite that, I still don't engage (even tho she hits me up ~once/6 months) because all the points she dumped on sex left no points for sanity. She is crazy. Call-the-cops crazy. Use-furniture-to-barricade-yourself-in-a-room crazy. Flinch-when-you-hear-her-open-a-door-followed-by-her-foot-steps crazy. That's why I have her on the to don't list. So yeah, I'm prolly going to capitulate sometime soon and meet up with her to "catch up".

[–] Im_old@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We want a detailed report after please. You write really well and sounds like you'd have quite a few things to write about!

Or just keep your sanity and tell me to fuck off, idk

[–] HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

This was a great example of "absolutely stick your dick in crazy, just make sure crazy cant follow you".

[–] Oneser@lemm.ee 38 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Don't listen to everyone else, they clearly don't know your situation and that it is totally different to theirs. It's a fantastic idea, and can only end in the situation you are hoping for. Please keep us updated on how it goes :)

In case that wasn't motivating enough for you to try this amazing idea and report back to us (v. important) try these sentences:

  • you miss all the shots you don't take
  • would you rather live the rest of your life not knowing?
  • if no one took risks, we'd have never crossed the seas
[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Im_old@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

That's a lot of us here 😅

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

Missed “itll be different this time”

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago

Not even on a good day.

[–] Eccitaze@yiffit.net 26 points 3 months ago

Nope. Been there, done that, turned a relatively amicable breakup into a "you're a piece of shit and don't ever speak to me again" situation, ruining another friendship in the process. It's a horrible, horrible idea.

[–] Ostrichgrif@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago

Also drunk and I understand the desire but no

[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago
[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 19 points 3 months ago

I consider this fairly often, since I'm often drunk and plenty of my past relationships ended amicably. And, every single time that I sober up, I'm glad that I didn't call/text any of my exes.

So don't do that. Wait until you're sober, and it's daytime where you live, and you're sexually satisfied, then think again if you should be texting them.

[–] savvywolf@pawb.social 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So I can definitely imagine amicable breakups where there is still sexual contact (e.g. you don't get along living together, but you're both fine being fwb).

But if the first time you're thinking about it is when you're drunk, that's not be a good sign. Sleep on it, then tomorrow think about what you want the "relationship" to look like going forward. If they're likely to feel the same way (as a person that lives inside your computer, I don't know them), you can ask them with a clear head (and not in a flirty way). Just respect their answer and don't be a creep if they say no.

[–] jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Don't listen to this guy he's a liar, he says he lives in your computer but he's really in my phone.

[–] Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee 18 points 3 months ago
[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 16 points 3 months ago

Nonononononononono

No

[–] jdnewmil@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 months ago

nope. Inadvisable.

[–] 1luv8008135@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

If you have to impair your brain and thought process to do it, is it really such a good idea?

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Love the edit, OP

[–] somnuz@lemm.ee 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I don’t want to sound judgemental or anything, but how about making this decision at the point of your life when you are not getting drunk to even consider this option?

Because obviously, I don’t know the effects of this decision and no one else here could fully know, but I am sure, the best, most healthy decisions are made from a proper starting position.

[–] Maestro@fedia.io 11 points 3 months ago

Not even sober....

[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It depends on how my wife gets on with the ex, I suppose.

[–] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 11 points 3 months ago

Absolutely not

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Have a wank and ask the question to yourself again, you just honry.

[–] promitheas@programming.dev 10 points 3 months ago

This. And have a snack before going grocery shopping. Two golden pillars of life

[–] Stupidmanager@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

My ex wife did this last month. But she wasn’t drunk, nor was it just a text. I received a pic of her nude bottom half and the text: open if you want to visit.

I left it on “read”.

Amicable or not, this is just using the other person.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

No. Walk it off, drink some water and go to bed. Nothing but evil can come from texting an ex.

[–] TheBigBrother@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Never text your ex, block and next..

no, it's never a good idea, not even out of desperation

I personally wouldn't recommend it

[–] kirbowo808@kbin.melroy.org 5 points 3 months ago

I wouldn’t even dare tbh especially as all my relationship eventually got super toxic, wouldn’t even be on my list 😭 I would rather die than be anywhere near them 😭

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 months ago

The best thing you can do in this situation is masturbate and get it out of your system.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

My wife and I have hooked up with one of her exes, the reason they broke up was over whether or not to have kids, but unless you’re certain that they’ll not be mad don’t do it. Even my amicable exes I’d be annoyed if they only messaged to hook up

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 3 points 3 months ago

Nah, I'm not attracted to her anymore. We're friends and it'll stay at that. There are fundamental reasons for which we broke up and sexual compatibility was one of them. Sex with her was always "alright". Never mind-blowing.

When I was younger and drunk, I'd text crushes and embarrass myself. None of them cared for me one bit. Since then, I have been drunk once and being rejected is one of the reasons.