If you're going to quit / get fired just start telling callers you're taking donations to get Bill Clinton's name removed from the Epstein flight logs.

Open to other helpful suggestions

Edit: His description of his supervisor is hilarious but I dunno how much I can share. Apparently they got a Glengary Glen Ross style motivational speech today. This is the best thing to happen to me in a while hahaha

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[–] OperationOgre@hexbear.net 40 points 6 months ago

Tell him to convince democrats to criminalize gay marriage then start fundraising off the notion that democrats will somehow bring it back if they get enough votes

[–] sub_ubi@lemmy.ml 38 points 6 months ago

talk about the importance of identity (unless arab)

[–] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 27 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

"Could you imagine how much worse the republicans would be beating up the students? Donate now so we can make sure these cops get the training they need."

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 19 points 6 months ago

He can expand his donor reach by reminding people that a significant percentage of DNC money funds Pied Piper candidates

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

If people say both parties are the same, tell them you're actually raising money for Do Not Care, an organization for organizing a big cookout.

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago

Hello, sir, madam, or the third secret one. I am soliciting donations for Donald Trump's reelection campaign. As a registered Democrat, can I count on your donation to ensure that as many middlemen as possible get a cut while your regional representative limply avoids anything that even smells like material improvements to your existence while signing three press releases per day about the volume, frequency, and effect on the overall "vibe" as it pertains to Final President Trump's farts?

[–] porcupine@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 6 months ago

LANYARDS 👏 ARE 👏 FOR 👏 CLOSERS