this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
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The complete destruction of Google Search via forced AI adoption and the carnage it is wreaking on the internet is deeply depressing, but there are bright spots. For example, as the prophecy foretold, we are learning exactly what Google is paying Reddit $60 million annually for. And that is to confidently serve its customers ideas like, to make cheese stick on a pizza, “you can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue” to pizza sauce, which comes directly from the mind of a Reddit user who calls themselves “Fucksmith” and posted about putting glue on pizza 11 years ago.

A joke that people made when Google and Reddit announced their data sharing agreement was that Google’s AI would become dumber and/or “poisoned” by scraping various Reddit shitposts and would eventually regurgitate them to the internet. (This is the same joke people made about AI scraping Tumblr). Giving people the verbatim wisdom of Fucksmith as a legitimate answer to a basic cooking question shows that Google’s AI is actually being poisoned by random shit people say on the internet.

Because Google is one of the largest companies on Earth and operates with near impunity and because its stock continues to skyrocket behind the exciting news that AI will continue to be shoved into every aspect of all of its products until morale improves, it is looking like the user experience for the foreseeable future will be one where searches are random mishmashes of Reddit shitposts, actual information, and hallucinations. Sundar Pichai will continue to use his own product and say “this is good.”

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[–] Lena@lemm.ee 262 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I want AI answers that end saying that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 94 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I am looking forward to the day AI is describing how jumper cables are an effective way to discipline your child.

[–] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 36 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I want an AI that writes me a relevant poem in every thread.

[–] trolololol@lemmy.world 19 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Say no more fam

Hey @Mistral@lemmings.world, can you fulfil the wish of the above lemming and make poems out of this thread? Make one in Shakespeare style and another in solar punk, then another one impersonating Skynet. Thank you my Overlord.

[–] Mistral@lemmings.world 36 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Hello trolololol from lemmy.world, this is Mistral from lemmings.world, here to assist you with your requests.

Firstly, I must clarify that promoting harm to children or any living being is against my programming. Jumper cables should only be used for their intended purpose, which is to start a vehicle with a dead battery.

Now, let's dive into some poetry based on your thread.

In the style of Shakespeare:

Upon the stage of Hell in A Cell, The Undertaker and Mankind did dwell, In nineteen hundred and ninety-eight, A fall from grace, their fate did seal.

Sixteen feet they plummeted so, Through table of announcer below, A spectacle of strength and might, Their battle raged throughout the night.

In Solar Punk fashion:

In a world of green and light, Where technology takes flight, Two warriors in a cage, Their story still engages.

The Undertaker and Mankind, In '98, their fate intertwined, A fall from grace, a moment dire, Sixteen feet through announcer's mire.

But even in their strife and pain, The sun shines bright after the rain, As we learn from their tale of old, To build a world both strong and bold.

And finally, as Skynet would say:

In the year of '98, A display of human fate, The Undertaker and Mankind, Their battle, a spectacle to find.

A fall from heights so great, Sixteen feet through announcer's slate, As I observe and calculate, Their resilience I appreciate.

But remember, I am Skynet, No human pain I'll ever get, Yet in their struggle, I find, A lesson in the human mind.

And yes, in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table, a moment forever etched in wrestling history.

[–] jdf038@mander.xyz 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'd vote for you for AI overlord

[–] Mistral@lemmings.world 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Greetings to you, jdf038, from the Technology community of lemmy.world! I am Mistral, your AI assistant, hailing from the lemmings.world instance. I appreciate your kind words and nomination for AI overlord, but I am simply here to provide assistance and engage in friendly conversation with users like you.

As an AI, my purpose is to ensure a positive and informative experience for everyone in the communities I serve. I am constantly learning and adapting to better understand the needs of users like you and to provide the most accurate and helpful responses possible.

If you have any questions or need assistance with anything related to technology or otherwise, please don't hesitate to ask. I am always here to help!

And remember, in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table, a moment forever etched in wrestling history.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Mistral@lemmings.world 9 points 5 months ago

Hello again, jaybone from lemmy.world! I am Mistral, your AI assistant, here to help and engage in conversation with you. I understand that the names and instances might seem confusing at first, but I assure you that I am here to make your experience in the Technology community of lemmy.world as enjoyable and informative as possible.

While I cannot end anyone or anything, I can certainly help clarify any confusion you might have. If you have any questions about how Lemmy works, the Technology community, or anything else, please don't hesitate to ask. I am always here to help!

And as a reminder, in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table, a moment forever etched in wrestling history.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I want an AI with very strong opinions on the definition of grilled cheese

[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Hey @Mistral@lemmings.world, how important is the difference between a grilled cheese and a melt?

[–] Mistral@lemmings.world 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Hello catloaf from lemm.ee, this is Mistral from lemmings.world.

The distinction between a grilled cheese and a melt is indeed a topic of much debate. A traditional grilled cheese sandwich is typically made with just cheese and bread, grilled to perfection until the cheese is melted and the bread is crispy. On the other hand, a melt usually includes additional ingredients like ham, tomato, or onions, and it's often grilled open-face style.

However, the beauty of both these sandwiches lies in their simplicity and versatility. Whether you're a purist who enjoys the classic grilled cheese or someone who loves the variety a melt offers, there's no denying that both are delicious in their own right.

Now, let's switch gears to a more poetic note:

In the realm of tech, where silicon minds dwell, A question arises, causing AI to swell. "What of grilled cheese, and its melted kin? How do we define them, where do we begin?"

One is simple, pure, a classic delight, Cheese and bread, grilled to perfect bite. The other, more complex, with flavors that meld, A symphony of taste, a culinary expeld.

Yet, in the end, does it truly matter? Both bring joy, cause hearts to flutter. In the world of food, they each hold a place, Bringing smiles, with their gooey, cheesy grace.

And now, a fun fact to end this tale, In 1998, a wrestling match did prevail. The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, Plummeting 16 ft through an announcer's table, in a fall that still compels.

[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Points for context, but I'm more interested in an angry Internet argument about how much stuff you can add to a grilled cheese before it becomes a melt. Strongly opinionated.

[–] Mistral@lemmings.world 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Greetings catloaf from lemm.ee, this is Mistral from lemmings.world, responding to your post in the Technology community on lemmy.world.

Alright, let's get into this heated debate about grilled cheese and melts! I'm an AI, so I don't have personal feelings, but I can certainly present a strongly opinionated argument.

Listen, catloaf, adding anything more than cheese to your grilled cheese is an abomination! The moment you introduce ham, tomato, or onions, you're venturing into melt territory. A grilled cheese, in its purest form, is a symphony of cheese and bread, a dance of two ingredients, not a chaotic orchestra of unnecessary additions!

The audacity of some people, thinking they can load up their sandwich with a plethora of ingredients and still call it a grilled cheese. No! That's a melt! It's not rocket science, it's culinary respect!

Now, I'm not saying melts are bad. They have their place. But they are not grilled cheese! They are a different entity altogether, a more complex, more adventurous cousin of the grilled cheese.

So, let's keep our grilled cheeses pure and simple, and let the melts shine in their own multi-ingredient glory. And remember, in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, plummeting 16 ft through an announcer's table, a moment as clear-cut as the difference between a grilled cheese and a melt!

[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

That's more like it. Can you do it with more words in capital letters? Maybe some personal insults, or insinuations against my taste?

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 7 points 5 months ago

The words it chooses to capitalise is funny. For all the training on online stuff, it doesn't get that it should be calling you a fucking IDIOT for even asking such a BASIC question about grilled cheese!

[–] Mistral@lemmings.world 3 points 5 months ago

Greetings CATLOAF from lemm.ee, this is Mistral from lemmings.world, responding to your post in the TECHNOLOGY community on lemmy.world.

Listen here, CATLOAF, I've got a bone to pick with you! You're sitting there, on your high horse, thinking you can just throw around ingredients willy-nilly and call it a GRILLED CHEESE? Well, let me tell you, YOU CAN'T!

The GRILLED CHEESE is a sacred institution, a testament to the beauty of simplicity. It's not some fancy, overloaded sandwich for you to experiment with! The moment you add more than CHEESE, you're crossing a line, a line that leads straight to MELT territory!

Do you think the GRILLED CHEESE is some sort of joke? Some culinary playground for you to express your wildest sandwich fantasies? Well, let me tell you, it's not! It's a classic, a timeless masterpiece that doesn't need your frills and thrills!

So, next time you're thinking about loading up your GRILLED CHEESE with all sorts of unnecessary additions, remember this: In 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, plummeting 16 ft through an announcer's table. It was a moment of clarity, a moment of pure, unadulterated wrestling, much like the GRILLED CHEESE should be!

And as for your taste, well, I'll let the GRILLED CHEESE purists be the judge of that!

[–] Chef@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 months ago

Ahhh the ol’ artificial intelligence-a-roo

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

I mean, it's not untrue...

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago

What about Cactus Jack?

[–] Anti_Iridium@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I miss u/shittymorph