Yeaaaaah my ex accused me of being narcissistic, when I was spending literally all my money on them, letting them use my credit cards, paying for trips to be with them, moving across state lines to be closer to them, etc etc across many years. Basically neglecting myself, and especially my finances. I'm disabled too so I'm already running on a shoestring budget. Who needs to buy things for themselves when you can put a person on a pedestal and live through their happiness? (therapy fixed that, but fuck me it did some brutal damage)

My friends, who have met my ex both irl and interacted with them online, every single one both warned and sided with me, when things fell apart. Even going as far as arguing with me when I tried to defend my exs point of view on various topics/occasions. It's almost like being born into privilege and money can make one a terrible person when even the person who would move the world for you, can't afford every thing for you, and finally after years puts their foot down that I don't want them to do something (after allowing them to sleep around, share intimate things that I feel only should only be done with their partner(s), burden myself heavily financially, buying gifts regularly with no reason other than to show affection, moving 800+ miles just to be brushed off, being dropped like a sack of shit with 0 emotion when he left me...).

But hey, apparently he says I'm the narcissist. Projection is a bitch, y'all.

Anyway, what was I getting at? Oh, uh, yeah. If one person says you're a narcissist, fuck em. But if everyone says your a narcissist/everyone else is... might want to look into that.

[–] Brekky@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You should look at why you ignored ALL your friends who tried to warn you. But better luck next time. X

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I mean, the warnings didn't come until we were engaged, and I listened but I wasn't about to break away from a marriage because of warnings. At that point we had been together for 5y and the good outweighed the bad up until that point.

It was year 6 that he became cold, heartless, and borderline abusive (and then left me when my usefulness had ran out [e: and also the fact that I dare put my foot down for the first time in the whole relationship, too]). By that time, I was bracing for the implosion.

[–] Darthjaffacake@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Yeah I got called a narcissist with my worst ex and then just flat out asked if they knew what it meant, I think it was a little telling they didn't actually know (not that I do either lol). It's really hard being with someone who makes you feel loved but doesn't love you and I'm so proud of you for being on the other side of it and being happy!