this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
518 points (95.4% liked)
The Onion
4559 readers
1163 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
There's cases where I will play devil's advocate for such asshats. Some comic-book events feature a black Superman, and that raises questions about whether Kryptonians coincidentally match every ethnic group on Earth, or if they've got some skin colors that aren't an option for humans, or if there's some imprinting transformation wiggle-room when they show up as babies on rocketships. Remember that Supes works with a dude from Mars - cosmically our next-door neighbors - and his ass is green.
And for the constant murmur of Idris Elba maybe playing James Bond, I have to point out the sliding window of ambiguous canon. From Dr. No until Die Another Day, the previous film was definitely the same guy, probably, and beyond that ehhh don't worry about it. It was completely unreasonable that Pierce Brosnan during the handover of Hong Kong could be the same man as Sean Connery during the Cuban missile crisis - but there was no hard cutoff. You could suspend disbelief, movie by movie, and never really think about it. Did a character change? Did some details shift? Retcons happen, why worry. Don't ask what movie Bruce Wayne and his parents were seeing. For forty years, 007 was played by 6'1" commonwealth blokes with light skin and dark hair, and the unspoken through-line is that audiences can be convinced all white actors look alike. Casting anyone else would require acknowledging that the codename can be transferred - or starting a new continuity. (Admittedly less of an issue since the Daniel Craig films pretty solidly cover a new continuity with yet another 6'1" commonwealth bloke with light skin and blond hair.)
But... Doctor fucking Who? They're shapeshifters. Every single Gallifreyan gets a dozen chances (or a dozen ish, evidently) to completely scrobble their appearance while maintaining a continuous personality. Even their fucking accents can change. Any losers sincerely whining about this are being bigots about an aggressively queer and accepting production. Even the original run started with an educational bent and tried to be progressive for the betterment of its audience.
The people this article mocks might as well kvetch about Star Trek being kind of preachy.
Not exactly, but they have dark and light skin. Krypton's red sun is a big deal in Kryptonian health. Kryptonian communities living closer to the equator would probably evolve higher melanin the same as humans did. Actually, light-skinned Kryptonians require a bigger suspension of disbelief than dark-skinned ones do.
And obviously the racial dynamics between dark and light Kryptonians wouldn't be the same as on earth. It would depend upon factors like the shape of continents, the location of arable soil, of large herbivores and of predators, and of minerals.
Fun fact: swords made out of meteorites are a common trope in Japan, because Japan has poor iron and big mountains.
With Kryptonians, I think if you can suspend disbelief enough accept that a planet in another star system could evolve people that are identical in appearance to humans, then you kinda have to accept that there would also be similar ethnicities there too. I mean it seems impossible someone from another planet would look exactly like a human, so you have to be willing to accept the impossible for Superman to work at all. Also Kryptonians are somewhat an metaphor for Jews and there's black Jews, so there should be black Kryptonians to fit the metaphor.
Yeah I feel like James Bond is operates under comic book time. So yeah it's the same character, but part of the suspension of disbelief relies on accepting that we just aren't supposed to think about how this guy doesn't age. So the same character changing ethnicity feels like it's it's either stretching that suspension of disbelief too much or straight up abandoning the comic book time continuity aspect of James Bond. Either way there's going to be people bothered by it and it's not necessarily a racist thing, it's just not liking that an aspect of a franchise they enjoy has been changed.
If you want to feel old, Bruce Wayne could have watched one of the Antonio Banderas Zorro movies as a child and be in his 30s today.
Hey... lots of planets have a North!