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Alternative to bad parental advice: "Stand up to bullies"? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 months ago by lettruthout@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We're talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it's stuck with me into my adult years.

These days though, using this advice only seems to backfire. When I give them what they've given me, the bullies just get more angry and use that to justify their continued bullying. They see themselves as the victim.

Any suggestions that would be more helpful?

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

See I had to put up with a lot of bullying as a kid, and learned a few things along the way, and of course subsequently. If I had a kid, which I don't and don't want, my first approach would be to dig up some dirt on the kids parents to arm my kid with some ammunition for clapback.

If that didn't work I just go down to the school personally and terrify the principal or whatever. Not with threats of physical violence or anything; that's overkill and a good way to get your ass landed in jail. No instead you go down there in a cold rage, a loud voice if necessary, and some very menacing threats to go to both the press and your lawyer.

I'm also a firm believer because of said bullying in teaching said kid self-defense. Actual self-defense not just karate classes. Because while I don't want my kid engaging in violence, I absolutely want him to defend himself if somebody throws a punch at him. Or her; I'm an equal opportunity asshole.