this post was submitted on 11 May 2024
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Big brain tech dude got yet another clueless take over at HackerNews etc? Here's the place to vent. Orange site, VC foolishness, all welcome.

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from @fasterandworse of this parish

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[–] fasterandworse@awful.systems 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

haha, thanks for this. those three are my go-to "big 3" examples because I'm convinced one of them will acquire and absorb the other two

[–] dgerard@awful.systems 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Slack is already owned by Salesforce. Adobe tried to buy Figma but competition authorities blocked it. Notion is still owned by its founders and funders.

[–] fasterandworse@awful.systems 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I didn't know about Slack and Salesforce. But, man, what a perfect match of captive userbase softwares

[–] V0ldek@awful.systems 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Salesforce is so funny to me cause cloud computing, databases, large datasets, etc. are basically all I do professionally; I've met people from Salesforce, I've seen talks from Salesforce; I'm more-or-less aware of how Tableu works, which they own.

Gun to my head, I would never be able to tell you what the fuck that company sells. For all I can tell it's door-to-door cookie Sales by a Force of girl scouts. I was to their site more than a dozen times, I read through their wiki article, I tried to find out wtf they do, no luck. It's like an SCP monster that erases all prior knowledge of it you had the moment you stop looking. They played everyone for absolute fools.

[–] dgerard@awful.systems 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

CRM as a service with a fucking ton of whatever dumb bullshit they think they might be able to sell you on top

the CRM as a service bit more or less works? probably? with work at your end? We use it at the day job and it's like better than not. It's the ultimate boring-but-functional product for enterprises.

[–] V0ldek@awful.systems 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It’s the ultimate boring-but-functional product for enterprises.

I'm sorry, but that is already taken by Excel.

[–] cstross@wandering.shop 4 points 6 months ago

@V0ldek NoNoNo, Excel is *sometimes* useful. For ultimate uselessness, try PowerPoint.

[–] froztbyte@awful.systems 5 points 6 months ago

now now david, you know you're contractually obligated to say CRM for enterprise. always.

SFDC murderninja squads have been dispatched to ..resolve.. this infraction.

[–] froztbyte@awful.systems 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Gun to my head, I would never be able to tell you what the fuck that company sells

similar to IBM's business really: invoices, lawsuits, and (at meta level) Vibes

Benioff is quite a piece of work

[–] V0ldek@awful.systems 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

But invoices have to be for something, right? Like IBM has hardware and the best-in-industry vendor lock-in. My alma mater is going to be paying for that IBM Mainframe in the basement that runs the entire fucking school until the Sun itself abandons us.

[–] froztbyte@awful.systems 3 points 6 months ago

No, invoices need to be for “something”. There are many, many businesses in this world that make constant bank on bullshit

Your alma mater isn’t paying megabux to support that mainframe itself, relative to IBM’s total income, but I bet you’d find many extras tacked on that make a significant contribution

[–] froztbyte@awful.systems 6 points 6 months ago

it's almost like antitrust enforcement would be a good thing