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This is all amazing advice, and I would like to add one thing to it, don't lie to her. People casually lie to their kids all the time, "I don't have any change", "we are all out of cookies", "don't worry, grandma is fine and will be back to normal in no time.". Kids aren't stupid, and they remember way more than you think. They see you pull out the change you "didn't have" at the next stop. They see/hear/smell the cookies that you are sneakily eating. They can tell something is wrong with grandma. Have some backbone and be honest, "no, we aren't wasting money on trash toys", "no, sugar this late will keep you awake and make you insane", "grandma is not feeling well, but we are doing everything we can for her, and we are going to let her know we miss her and love her".