this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
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I like to imagine this was thought up by some ambitious product manager who enthusiastically pitched this idea during their first week on the job.
Then they carefully and meticulously implemented their plan over 3 years, always promising the executives it would be a huge pay off. Then the product manager saw the writing on the wall that this project was gonna fail. Then they bailed while they could and got a better position at a different company.
The new product manager overseeing this project didn't care about it at all. New PM said fuck it and shipped the exploit before it was ready so the team could focus their work on a new project that would make new PM look good.
The new project will be ready in just 6-12 months, and it is totally going to disrupt the industry!
I see a dark room of shady, hoody-wearing, code-projected-on-their-faces, typing-on-two-keyboards-at-once 90's movie style hackers. The tables are littered with empty energy drink cans and empty pill bottles.
A man walks in. Smoking a thin cigarette, covered in tattoos and dressed in the flashiest interpretation of "Yakuza Gangster" imaginable, he grunts with disgust and mutters something in Japanese as he throws the cigarette to the floor, grinding it into the carpet with his thousand dollar shoes.
Flipping on the lights with an angry flourish, he yells at the room to gather for standup.
Cigarette is stomped.
Stickies fall from kanban board.
Backdoor dishonor.