Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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It can be really confusing, there is a lot to take in once you start questioning things.
The first thing I’d say is it’s good to question and explore safely but it’s also ok to realise that you’re a man, a woman or somewhere in between. Don’t forget it’s not black and white, you might not feel like a woman but maybe non-binary or demi-boy might fit better.
You say you don’t feel like anything other than a man, so maybe look at why you’re questioning. Writing down a list of things that you think put you into male or female might help clarify things in your mind.
Think about what it would mean to be a woman, the clothes, the social interactions, being called she/her, having a woman’s name. Which if any resonate with you.
Feeling like a woman is such a hard to define thing, I often feel quite masc but I know I’m a woman, wearing women’s clothes and being called she/her just feel better for me.
One other thing to consider is your sexuality, I’m a lesbian so it can also be quite common to like more typically masc things and present a bit more masc. I’m not a butch but I’m definitely not femme either.
I say that because whilst sexuality is different from gender, sometimes it can confuse things. Am I a gay man, femme woman or a butch lesbian for example, so maybe give that some thought too.
The main thing is to give it a good amount of thought and maybe experiment when you can safely with pronouns, names and clothes, but remember that you don’t need to rush, and make sure you do it safely. It sounds like you’re aware of those things but it’s worth just mentioning again.
I was questioning a lot for several years, even into the start of my transition. I’d see a psychologist and think “I don’t need to do more”, I’d get an HRT prescription and think “I don’t need to take them”, start taking them and think “I can stop if I need to”. It allowed me to do it in baby mental steps and still acknowledge to myself that I was still feeling a little unsure.
It took until I was well into my transition and I found a partner who accepts me fully as a woman to really stop questioning and accept who I am.
I hope that this helps a bit and feel free to DM me if you have any specific questions or just want to talk.