this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2024
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The Right Can't Meme
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This made me realize, I’ve never ever seen anyone genuinely reading the bible.
It's got a lot of good stuff. Like, "the worker deserves their wages", no wait let's throw that out, and "take care of the poor & needy", no let's ditch that too, and "your breasts are fiiiiine gurl", no wait let's never read that out loud ever, anywhere.
My favorite is "be skeptical - test everything", oh no wait no let's redact that too... (I just realized how that doesn't mesh with the most important verse of all: "just do whatever we tell you, no questions asked, capiche?")
The hilarious part is not that they are reading the Bible - it is that they are not! Likewise for the Constitution that they showed up on January 6th to "defend".
"Of course we read the Constitution! It says "we the people"! Well, we're people, and everyone else isn't! Just like God intended!"
"Well-regulated militia" - oh wait no, forget that part, it's impossible to allow any kind of regulation at all.
"You can impeach someone for criminal offenses" - oh wait no let's ditch that one too...
No wait, I want it back again!
I also want back the 3/5ths of a person thing, but let's expand that to also include anyone with a college degree or lives in a city, suburb, or even those in rural areas who don't support their local ~~Republican~~ church strongly enough.
"One rule for me, while the polar opposite rule for thee" - it's not hard to understand in the slightest. We all played these games as toddlers, the difference being that some of us allowed ourselves to grow up. :-|
Dont forget the cuckoldry and giant dongs
Never forget! :-D
That's because it's not worth reading, it's very derivative and essentially it's just a rehashing of Life Of Brian anyway.
Some of it can be interesting to read, but I doubt most people care about how you can see a shift in warfare from bronze over to iron. Or the fact it works as a primitive bit of anthropological history or atleast gives a good look in how the societies writing and translating viewed certain things.
My SO grandma reads Bible explanation books. Stuff is wild I read some and it talks about aliens and dimension compacting and all kinds of sci-fi stuff but packaged in a very weird way.
"Explanation"? If the book talks about aliens, it sounds more like lore expansion.
Also is this the Bible or is it just L Ron Hubbard?
ROFL I need to remember this.
Nobody does. But I've seen plenty of people who walk around with them to pretend that they do.
I read it out of spite because of how often any random nonsense in my high school English class would be call a metaphor for Jesus and I wanted to be able to call BS on it when appropriate.
Suggested to my mother that she might want to read it sometime, seeing as she taught catechism classes for the local church and she gave me the most confused look and asked me why on earth she would want to do that. The very same lady who insisted I had to continue attending mass and catechism classes until I got confirmed right up until the nun in charge expelled me from their catechism program.
I did. I'm also an atheist. It's actually quite interesting from an historical perspective.
I'm taking a Jewish studies course where we've compared verses to other historical artifacts. It really is pretty interesting how much everyone wanted to claim "my ~~daddy~~ God will (or did) beat up yours!"