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I think what this speaks to is the concept of queer agency and what that means— and how the writers clearly don’t understand it or how to be aspirational about it. Today, it’s defined by what we don’t have and are fighting for, whereas, in the 23rd century it doesn’t exist because everyone is equal. Queer people aren’t regarded as different or unequal in any way, so be regarded as different is a completely foreign concept. Having to define agency - or the need for it - does not belong in this context.
So, when you show these characters struggling with their identities, struggling to fit in because of them, and being defined first by them, it’s discordant with the setting, it’s discordant with Trek, and does a massive disservice to the characters themselves when, in what is supposed toy be a hopeful, utopian future where humanity is supposed to be far past such things, queer people are no better off than they are today because in a future where the concept of queer agency shouldn’t even have to exist anymore, it’s front and center whenever a queer character is on screen. Worse, when they end up suffering for it, over and over.