When Pavlo Zhilin and his patrol hit the streets of Cherkasy, men often swerve to avoid them.
Pavlo is a conscription officer looking for soldiers for Ukraine's army.
But almost two years into Russia's full-scale invasion, there's no flood of volunteers to the front line anymore.
Most of those who wanted to fight are either dead, injured or still stuck at the front waiting to be relieved by new recruits.
In the central town of Cherkasy, like elsewhere, finding them isn't easy now that the first burst of enthusiasm and energy has faded.
Ukraine is exhausted. Pavlo's story
"I don't get it. People are out and about, like the war is somewhere far away. But this is a full-scale invasion, and it's like people still don't care," Pavlo says.
He is frustrated by what he sees as indifference.
"We need everyone to come together like they did on the first day. Everyone was united then, like brothers."
Instead, the security service in Cherkasy is constantly shutting down local social media channels that warn people when the conscription teams are in town and alert them to areas to avoid.
At 24, Pavlo has sacrificed a lot for his country.
He grew up dreaming of being a soldier - his eyes light up when he remembers that - and he was serving in the army in February 2022 when Russian troops rolled across the border.
He fought near Kyiv, then Soledar in the eastern Donbas, where the battle was brutal. That first summer, he was moved to Bakhmut.
"We came under heavy fire. A shell landed next to me. I lost my whole elbow. There was nothing left," he says, describing an attack in which he was badly injured.
He managed to crawl beneath a bush and he began to pray.
The soldier admits that getting to hospital was a huge relief: not just because he'd survived, but because he was finally off the front line. "It was hard there. I can't even put it into words."
He looks down and falls quiet.
Pavlo's injuries were severe. His right arm was amputated below the shoulder, he still feels pain where his limb is missing, and he has shrapnel in his leg. His basic prosthetic gives him limited movement.
But he wanted to go on serving, so he became a conscription officer.
After all he's been through, I wonder whether he understands why other men evade the draft.
"One day, their children will ask what they did during the war, when the men were fighting. When they reply, 'I was hiding,' then they'll plummet in the children's eyes," Pavlo says firmly.
And yet the price Ukraine is paying to defend itself is already immense.
When I ask Pavlo whether he's lost friends in the fighting, he admits that there's "almost no one left" from his entire company.
"The only ones left are [injured] like me. The others are dead." Serhiy's story
Away from the eastern front line, there are signs of recovery among the ruins.
Irpin, near Kyiv, was occupied by Russian forces at the very start of the war. There are shell-shattered buildings all around, but also the sound of building work.
For those who lost everything, there are now small "towns" of pre-fabricated cabins, each with two rooms and a shower room. About half of the residents are from Irpin itself. Others have been displaced from closer to the front.
Lilia Saviuk and her husband have just moved in from Kakhovka in the east, still occupied by Russian forces.
At the start of the war, their son Serhiy was captured there and held in a basement. Lilia says he was tortured for shouting pro-Ukrainian slogans.
When Serhiy got out, he left the region and immediately signed up to fight for Ukraine.
When Lilia flicks through her phone for pictures to show me, it throws up images of terrible injuries.
Most of the flesh on one of her son's legs was blown off and his foot was in tatters.
Serhiy was injured last autumn in Avdiivka, where the fighting has been fierce and even Ukrainian officials admit their army is outgunned and outmanned.
One source put the difference at 8-1, in Russia's favour.
Lilia and her husband couldn't leave Kakhovka with Serhiy, because their elderly parents refused to go. So they stayed, under occupation, terrified the Russians might discover that their son was a soldier.
They finally left when Serhiy was injured, to be with him in hospital, but Lilia cries with the shame she feels at leaving relatives behind.
"We call and ask them, 'Is it quiet?'" she says, meaning is there shelling. "Everyone there is waiting for liberation. For it to be loud. But there is only quiet.
"People have been crying for so many months and nothing is getting any better."
But there is another fear driving Lilia's tears.
She shows me videos of her pushing her son around in a wheelchair. The two are laughing, covered in snow. Then there are pictures of the skin grafts he's had, where Lilia says the doctors have "performed a miracle".
But as soon as Serhiy is fully fit, he's told his mother he'll go back to the front. He says there are not enough soldiers there. His friends need him.
So Lilia is praying for the war to end first.
"I think he has already done his duty," she says, eyes full of tears. "As a mother, it is a sin to say this, but while he is in hospital, I can sleep calmly. I can't sleep when he is on the front line.
"So I am glad my son is in hospital now, although I really shouldn't say this. I'm glad he's not at the front." Vladislav's story
On the edge of Cherkasy, there is a cemetery with a long line of recent graves. They're for the men of all ages from the town who've died fighting since Russian President Vladimir Putin gave the order to invade.
Ukraine honours the dead as heroes, but it's left to their families to grieve.
Each grave is decorated with national flags and heaped with wreaths and flowers. There are images, fixed to crosses or etched into marble headstones, of the soldiers in military uniform.
Inna can't bear to put her son's photo on his grave yet. The image that she used for his funeral is still at home. She's not ready to let go.
Vladislav Bykanov was killed last June by a mine explosion near Bakhmut. He was about to turn 23 and already a deputy commander.
"I believe my son died doing the right thing," Inna says firmly, as her daughter cries quietly beside her.
"I'm a teacher and I always tell the children this: we are right, we are defending our country and our children. My son was defending us. He believed in this cause. And I believe," Inna says before pausing to take in the flags and faces all around.
She hasn't visited the cemetery for a little while and the row of soldiers' graves has grown.
"Do you think my son wasn't afraid? I was afraid too, when he went. Everyone's afraid of dying," she answers, when I wonder what she thinks of those who avoid signing up to fight.
"But maybe being enslaved by Russia is more frightening? Now we see death. It's very difficult. Very difficult. But there is no way back. We can't give up."
Naked Capitalism had an interesting theory the other day, that the end stage of the Russian invasion may involve Russia giving a lot of carrots, metaphorically, to the Ukrainians in the newly occupied territories as to win hearts and minds. If we end up with a situation where Russia pours resources into the separatist regions while the rump state in the west of Ukraine is abandoned by the West once regime change in Moscow is off the table, yeah I could see them getting bitter that the West was using them.
They already had example of this with the quick rebuilding of Mariupol. Note how western media completely omit that and still pretend it's a blasted wasteland.
I’m sure parts of it are still blasted waste. A lot of industrial buildings were in Mariupol and I’m sure they will take time to rebuild, but it is crazy how quickly apartments and shit have gone up. If my town was obliterated by world war 3 I would expect to live amongst rubble for 20 years at least.
Apparently it also wasn't even as much destroyed as west and Ukraine said, fights were not heavy everywhere and it's a big city, half million inhabitants before war.
Have any articles on that?
After some searching i need to correct myself, they are quiet on that after half of 2023, earlier they screamed at first so much about "no rebuild", then it was "shit rebuid" then it was "Russification of a city though rebuild". Frantic seeting, coping and malding, then silence.
Hard to search anything that isn't RFE or Ukro propaganda on the topic, but there is video from year ago showing significant progress.
Also WSJ indirectly admitting rebuilding goes so well that "Putin uses it as propaganda"
Interestingly there are a number of Youtube channels that have documented the changes in Mariupol since its liberation in May 2022.
This channel here is the one I follow the most because it is run by volunteers delivering aid to the residents there, and most importantly, documents the personal stories and experiences they had encountered throughout the war. Subtitles were auto-translated and not super accurate, but you can get a gist of what they’re saying. Warning: heart breaking stories everywhere, prepare to cry.
Generally, the people who’ve had their homes destroyed get new apartments, while the others still have to wait. Note that the Ukrainian government barely built any new residential buildings since the collapse of the USSR, and most people were still living in Soviet-era apartments.
From what I can understand, the re-housing program is prioritizing senior citizens (a lot of younger people who could afford to leave the city have already left, but many older people refused to leave), and rebuilding of the city is prioritizing on children’s wellbeing (building new schools, hospitals, nurseries first). The rest of the jobs are slowly coming back but it’s going to take a while.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy: