this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
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I have only ever made crow enemies. you do not want crow enemies.
also, if you see a dead or dying crow in your driveway, don’t move it. don’t touch it. even if it’s blocking your car (idk, buy a new car instead?) maybe call animal control but by all means don’t present yourself near the dead crow - the crows will assume you killed it and will make your life hell. i was divebombed multiple times for many blocks from my house. i only gingerly moved the bird a few feet over to the grass so my wife could move the car and get to work. but crows remember. boy do they remember.
this only stopped when i moved to another city
Crows have been shown to hold grudges for years, even if they don't see the thing they hate for years.
You can never go back to your old house haha
As I understand it, they also communicate with other crows too, so there’s a slim chance I will be found in this city as well. Yay.
Your own personal CORVID-19
*Crowvid-19
Crows are in the Genus (?) Corvidae in case you didn't know.
Imagine showing your kid the house you used to live in 10 years ago and they remember and dive bomb you.
It has definitely happened to people before!
(puts on disguise) Can you update us with your new address so we can send you a gift?
Look y’all, I don’t want any trouble!
They ALSO hold courts and occasionally kill other crows as a group. It's possible your interference in their capital punishment ritual is considered a high crime.
Warning: I researched this and can't find evidence that it's true, but crow funerals are actually a thing that happens, so my advice stands: do not interfere with crow rituals involving dead crows!
O.O
I first heard about this in a Gaiman story called 'A Parliament of Rooks'.
My neighbor had a crow die in his backyard and the crows harassed him and his dog mercilessly every time he went outside, until he moved out of the house.
We had this happen and they harassed my dog for a few weeks (and scared the shit out of me for a few days) but then stopped caring.
Here's a funny story. When my neighbor was telling me about the crows hating him and his dog, we were at a party. Someone else overheard him telling me, but missed the first part, so she only heard "died in our backyard, but they think we killed him, so they keep harassing us now". The eavesdropper was like "WAIT! What the fuck is going on?". Haha.
I wonder if it would work to put on a disguise
It can, just don't let them see you change in or out of it, or go into the same car or house. Don't let them see the disguise in your possession either. Also don't talk while disguised.
I think it would need a full body disguise, and possibly to move, since I think they just wait to see whoever leaves a specific building.
I think crows can recognize faces and connect those specific people to cars and houses. I remember reading about a "study" scientists did where they harassed some crows while wearing face masks of former presidents or something until the crows got pissed, and the crows started attacking anybody with those specific masks on.
University of Washington is where that happened, or at least the time I read about it. They started wearing masks when they realized crows remember -and tell other crows about- faces.
I always hear this and I always wonder. What happens if you go to war with them. Like if you start seriously fucking them up, will they keep coming at your till they are all dead or will they realise you are not be fucked with?
one strategy I had was to try to befriend the neighbors crows before the word gets to them. maybe then I will have my own crow gang for protection.
I'm just gonna put this here
https://www.npr.org/2019/09/13/760666490/crows-are-they-scary-or-just-scary-smart#:~:text=Crows%20can%20memorize%20human%20faces&text=To%20see%20whether%20the%20crows,neutral%20face%20was%20mostly%20ignored.