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Terrible lonelyness...
36 years old man, have been overweight almost all my life, balding, have only a few friends, lives alone.
I matured in my mid twenties, that is when I started being interested in finding a partner, unfortunately, I worked alternating 12h day/night shifts on an irregular schedule at the time, and my life was just work/eat/rest/sleep, I had no real time abd energy to meet new people.
After four and half years of that, I got a normal job, but felt completely lost in where to even start finding people, and still am now seven years later.
I work in IT, and am good at talking to people normally, but as soon as the talk get's more personal I don't really know how to keep going and be interesting, I also have trouble asking the right questions in the right way so I have a tendancy to seem self centered, but I am working on it.
The reason I can be this open about my issues here is that it helps me reflect on myself and analyze what I need to work on, and that I am writing behind a mask of annonymity.
Also, while I am very lonely, I know how to deal with it through distractions and shifting focus from the feelings, I know it isn't healthy, but I am a master of repressing feelings, sometimes I do let them out and give myself a good solid cry about the situation.
In the end, my life isn't terrible in general, I do stuff all the time, I own my own apartment, small car, good camera, decent computer and I realize i could be far worse off.
Sorry if im focused on the wrong thing here but balding can be easily remedied by taking the step of shaving your head.
It was frightening for me at first but it really boosted my self esteem when i finally did it.
Maybe "fixing" one small issue can give you energy to focus on something positive?
Yeah, I realized that a year or so ago, and while I don't shave my head, I do go for the 6mm buzz cut special every time
The only way I found to meet new people as an adult is through hobbies.
Working in tech, for me, ideally that's something that doesn't involve solving puzzles and that has an actual physical element.
I've gone through painting, Board game, Ceramics, Yoga, paintball, volunteering at the pet rescue, trampoline, walking/hiking group and other things I forgot.
You already kinda share an interest with whoever is there so it's not as artificial as some other things.
Doesn't mean everyone will be your friend, but even a hobby-specific once-a-week buddy can be a nice change.
Some of those people stick around, most don't.
I don't mean this as advice, just my experience these last few years.
Yeah, I do enjoy photgraphy, and have thougjt about joining a photography club or something, once I am done dealing with my current work situation, I will look into it further