this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 265 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Reject indirect, cue-based communication. Embrace direct, non-repentant "I want to have fuck with you".

[–] anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 89 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Do you want some making fuck?

[–] Driveway4964@lemmy.world 49 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Twelve20two@slrpnk.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Are you the quirked up white boy (with a little bit of swag) who's known to bust it down sexual style and may just be goated with the sauce?

[–] Driveway4964@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I got hips twerking with sex topped with some viscous Worcestershire liquid

[–] Tbird83ii@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 months ago

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[–] Twelve20two@slrpnk.net 2 points 10 months ago

Damn, this is really close to the way John Mess writes song lyrics

[–] Lamedonyx@lemmy.world 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] univers3man@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I got you blue. I got you yellow.

[–] Fridgeratr@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

Bitches love yellow

[–] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 30 points 10 months ago (4 children)

*If you're a woman. That's a good way to end up on a list if you're a man.

[–] SasquatchBanana@lemmy.world 53 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Bro. You don't ask this to random people. You need to build rapport. I have plenty of times vibed with people and then told them i got the hots for them and then we did the deed. It ain't too hard. Just be clear and upfront and make some vibe checks.

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

It's not too hard for you. If it was as easy as you say for everyone, nobody would be upvoting this post.

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[–] cashews_best_nut@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Clearly following rules 1 & 2.

[–] SasquatchBanana@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Not even close. Average

[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Yep, no mention of the Fight Club

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[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 47 points 10 months ago (6 children)

I want to have fuck with you.

For real though, a friend of mine recently (August) walked into a gas station and asked the girl working there if she was married. She said yes. He said, “You the type keep a man on the side?”

The next day he was in handcuffs. He’s a strange dude and he says things to women that I don’t think he should, so naturally, I doubted him.

He was charged with stalking, trespassing after being forbidden, and assault.

His lawyer managed to get the video from the store and the body cam video from the officer who responded. He brought the USB drive by a few days ago after the charges were dismissed so I could see the video. He doesn’t want his friends to think he’s a piece of shit.

I watched it. He said exactly what I said above and told her to have a good day, turned back around to say, “Good on you for being faithful. You ever get sick of him, remember me.” Was it nasty to say that? Absolutely. A crime? Absolutely not.

The body cam video was the most interesting part. The woman said, “He came in here and told me outright that he wanted to fuck me. I told him I was married and I figured that would be the end of it, just like with other creepy men. I asked him to please not come here while I’m working.” The cop interrupts, “Well that’s trespassing right there. I’ll git eem fer that too.” She continued, “Well, he had a massive erection and he stood here playing with it through his shorts. He wanted me to see it. He came over beside the counter and kind of stepped behind where I was at.” Cop interrupts again, “Ok so he actually came behind the counter?” “Not fully, but he did step back there about a step or two.” She replied. Cop says, “well ‘ats assault right there. I can charge em with that too. So did he take his penis out where you could see it? I’d like to charge him with indecent exposure too but unless you seen his penis, like, the flesh, I cain’t do that. I’m gonna git eem with stalkin’ too though.” She replied, “Well no, I didn’t see his actual penis, but he stood there rubbing it through his shorts and motioning his head for me to look at it. It was a big old boner. I was scared to death. He kept saying, “you know I can give it to you good, won’t you walk in the women’s bathroom with me.” and stuff like that. I called my husband and he came out here. When the guy came back a third time he walked in and walked right back out when he seen my husband.”

On the video he walked in, said, “Well, damn. I left my wallet at home. I’ll be right back.” Her husband said, “no, you won’t be right back. You ain’t welcome in here anymore.” He paused for a second and looked at him dumbfounded and said, “Well, alright. This ain’t the only gas station in town. Bye then.”

I watched the video from the gas station. None of it happened. Everything she said was pure fantasy. I spent from August until a few days ago thinking he was a total fucking creep. I can’t believe he was charged at all and I can’t believe the girl didn’t back out when the manager offered to get the video for the police. Oh, and the assault charge. He stepped behind the counter to reach over and grab a paper towel to clean coffee he spilled. He has been stopping there for 20 years and didn’t think it would be a problem.

She also said he didn’t pay for his coffee on the video so I’m surprised officer Doofy didn’t charge him with shoplifting too.

Us men gotta be careful. For real.

Women too, because assholes like the one she described to the officer do exist and women contend with them daily. Lying, dangerous women also exist too.

I’d be afraid to hit on a total stranger. I wouldn’t want to anyway because that’s not the type of person I am. If I were though, I’d be too afraid to do it. Every woman I’ve ever been with said something to me first. I never wanted to come off as a creep and I like women who assert themselves anyway.

Fortunately there was video and the charges were dropped.

[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Yes, women can lie. So can anyone. And I mean… we don’t know you either and we’re supposed to take your word for it. As far as I know this is a story online. Anyone can lie to sway an opinion the way they want it. Wouldn’t be the first. Won’t be the last.

[–] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (9 children)

It correlates with my experience. I've had the police called on me for simply existing in a public park as a man.

I also find it interesting how willing you are to call a man a liar when he shares his struggles. Would you do the same if the genders were reversed?

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[–] snake_case_guy@lemmynsfw.com 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If not a true story, at least it has a moral: Don't judge anyone until all the facts have been laid out. And not just what each person say, the fucking facts, like video tapes. Or, if you are a God fearing citizen, as Jesus H. Christ said: Don't judge others until you have your fucking facts right. Or something on that line.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

To add credibility to my story here’s some proof without putting people out there.

[–] cashews_best_nut@lemmy.world -5 points 10 months ago

Fucking dumb Americunt date format.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

This is the best proof I can give without putting names out there.

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[–] dipshit@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Us men gotta be careful

I agree. Specifically though I think men need to be careful about who they flirt with and in what contexts. Flirting with people at their job should never be considered. Best case, you annoy her. Worst case, well.. you explained one example. Either way, it’s generally wise not to annoy the people you want to hook up with.

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Nah, you take your shot (without being inappropriate) then you accept the answer gracefully.

This guy did a three in one - she clearly went way, way beyond acceptable responses, but forcing out a straight "no" makes women uncomfortable.

When she says "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm gay" or whatever, it may be the reason she's saying no or she might just be lying to spare your pride and avoid a bad reaction. An excuse is definitely a "no" though

You get one shot. If you're the type who needs a clear answer, ask a clear question the first time

[–] dipshit@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

You don’t write the rules, buddy. And at that rate, you might find yourself on the other side of rules you didn’t think existed.

This may surprise you, but the world is not fair.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Like, actually, the same thing (or similar) happened to me.

I sit in classroom, other girl walks in, I say hi (from 5 feet away). Nothing else.

She turns away in disgust and seems to be angry for some reason.

Ok, I decide, let her cool down a bit.

Talk to her an hour later. To do so, I approach her to 3 feet or sth. Anyways, she looks at me in disgust and is about to turn to her friend, complaining. I say "what's wrong?". She replies with "nothing", cynical.

So sad. Like, what's going on.

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[–] frezik@midwest.social 5 points 10 months ago

I did something like that once, but it was at a gangbang. Men can do it in certain contexts where some level of sexual activity is expected.

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 10 months ago

not if you're a woman either

[–] Commiunism@lemmy.wtf 17 points 10 months ago

The words have already left your mouth

[–] Kepabar@startrek.website 7 points 10 months ago

You know, there was a girl I was chatting with once. She suggests we get lunch, then calls it off last minute.

A few days later she complains about some guy she likes who stood her up for lunch that lives near me.

Then she just ghosted me.

I've always wondered if she meant me and the whole thing was her miscommunicating and then trying to be coy and indirect.

[–] CumBroth@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is... is this a Raphaël reference?

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 8 points 10 months ago

HARDCORE TO THE MEGA