this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz -3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

I get what you meant, which is why I replied, I'm saying that that word means the opposite of what you intended.

To patronize someone is not a bad thing, the word means "to be someone's customer/patron" and through doing so, supporting and helping them. That's where patreons name comes from, for example.

In the phrase "don't patronize me" it's used sarcastically to say "I know you're trying to help, but please don't" but the word doesn't actually refer to someone who is going over your head to do things for you. It's actual meaning is 100% positive, and hence confuses what you're saying. Which is that blocking threads should be done by users because it should be their decision.

Instead, your final sentences literal meaning, paraphrased, is "a server-wide block would be really good and helpful for all my users".

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

It might be, but I've only ever seen it used in the condecending way. And it seems to be used like this for quite some time

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz -1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Can't argue with real-world use, but man that is a semantic shift that is doing the original word dirty.

Apparently patronage and other forms of the word are having their definitions affected, too.

I read a lot of books so I'm definitely a lot more used to how words are used up to several decades ago.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 9 months ago

yup. language is weird

[–] wildginger@lemmy.myserv.one 3 points 9 months ago

Welcome to humanity since the invention of language

[–] loobkoob@kbin.social 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I don't know if it's perhaps a regional thing but, in the UK, "being patronising" is used pretty much exclusively in the pejorative sense, with a similar meaning to "condescending". I don't think I've ever heard (in actual conversation) "being patronising" used to mean someone is giving patronage, in fact - we would say someone is "giving patronage" or "is a patron" instead. We also pronounce "patronise" differently, for whatever reason: "patron" is "pay-trun", "patronage" is "pay-trun-idge" but "patronise" is "pah-trun-ise".

It seems the pejorative use of the word dates back to at least 1755, too, so it's not exactly a new development.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

in the UK, “being patronising” is used pretty much exclusively in the pejorative sense, with a similar meaning to “condescending”

It's the same in the US, and has been ever since I can remember. No idea where this person lives that the positive meaning would be the first thing they'd think of.

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

What about patronising as in 'patronising this business'? A little archaic, but I do hear it from time to time, usually with the 'pay' pronounciation.

Then again, if someone is accusing me of being patronising (which happens a lot for reasons I don't quite understand, but I digress), it's split odds whether I'm "pah-trun-ising" or "pay-trun-ising".

English is weird (perhaps this is its wyrd?)

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What if they're also using it sarcastically

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 1 points 9 months ago

They might be, but that's generally a bad idea online (without using /s), someone like me who can't hear their tone of voice could come along :D