Gadgets

Google to users: “Youse people have had it too goods for too long. It’s time to pay up, see. And if you don’ts pay up, your gonna regrets it. Things are gonna get slow, real slow. First it’ll be the page. It’ll take so long you’ll think it’s not going to show, but right before you click away and go somewhere else, then it’ll come up. After that we’re going to slow down your extensions. We’re going to kneecap them so they can’t keep up with us. They’ll be limping along, crying for an update while we do whatever we want.

And you don’t want to know what happens next, so youse better pay up, and fast. Give us what we want or we’re going to burn this entire mother fukkin’ Chrome browser to the ground. That’s just how it is, you see?”

Edit: s/got it is/how it is/