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Ahaha, very relatable! Although personally I tend to keep mine relatively simple, I just add some cinnamon and sugar into mine (which is also what I do with Cream of Wheat for the few times that I have it).
Whenever you go to the hospital for GI related issues (or for surgeries in general I imagine), they always restrict you to not having anything to eat/drink, then they allow clear liquids, then they allow soft foods, and finally "full" (some hospitals will have a few other steps in between) and oatmeal falls into the "soft foods" category, but often times things like fruits won't - but cinnamon and sugar has always been allowed for me so I've just gotten used to only having my oatmeal with those two things added in.