this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2023
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for real though
I'm getting a divorce on the surface because she cheated on me.
but the reality is she isn't ok with me sharing emotions, or being vulnerable.
fuck toxic masculinity, and it's pervasive grip that has strangled so much
I feel like people are doing a disservice by using the phrase "toxic masculinity"
You can't use that phrase without implying masculinity in general is a bad thing. Trying to draw a distinction between "masculinity" and "toxic masculinity" is using the same logic as the people that say "but you're one of the good ones" when they're talking to someone of [insert race, gender, religion, etc].
They're toxic people that cause these problems. There's nothing wrong with masculinity.
You're making an incorrect comparison here.
Race, gender, etc. are: 1)Immutable 2)Not harmful, they just are
Toxic masculinity is behavior, it: 1)Causes measurable harm 2)Can be changed
It's not okay to put those things into the same bin. While I appreciate and somewhat applaud your effort to stand up for masculinity that many say is in crisis, this can be approached in a plethora of ways besides promoting objectively harmful behaviors.
And yet we never hear about toxic femininity, it sure feels pretty biased, especially when in this case it's literally a woman that's making a guys life miserable... And yet toxic masculinity 🤷♂️
Toxic feminity would be rather shaming other women for not being feminine enough, or something along these lines. Restricting even healthy aggression in women, forcing certain visual styles etc.
But what you're seemingly talking about - women propagating toxic masculinity again - is very real, and something we should talk about (and I do here and there). After all, it's in the interest of everyone. Men can finally take a breather and be themselves, freed up from harmful expectations, and women will have to deal with much less dangerous aggression from men, alcoholic husbands etc.
We just generally need to build a more compassionate society. And that absolutely entails being compassionate to men.
There's ABSOLUTELY toxic femininity. The idea that you have to be airbrush perfection. That real women don't pay on their dates. That yu should play games and be unavailable because no one likes a whore. That's all toxic femininity. Why doesn't it get much air compared to toxic masculinity? Probably because we're coming off a MASSIVE patriarchy and toxic masculinity is fucking SWAMPED in our culture, but both absolutely exist.