this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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He's behind 7 proxies, and at least one of them is emotional. In scientific probable reality he doesn't even exist.
Also not sure if it's a joke or some other angle, but there's lots of dudes out there (and on here) like that but I wouldn't expect it to ever work out well (if any offer was even accepted). It'd be long/difficult process even for doctors/therapists to fix people like this up with today's options. Maybe volunteer somewhere instead (if you don't already).
He's definitely a real person. So real that millions can identify with how he was feeling. The fact that he verbalized it so well makes him even more precious. His feelings are real and valid and he deserves love. And millions of others just like him.
TBC that was a reference*, though I warped it a little as I was trying to imply that he isn't emotionally present (to an extreme degree), not that it's a fake story or anything like that.
And yes of course everybody deserves love but that's easier said than done when people are broken. And whatever you're thinking w/your original comment I could see maybe helping, maybe too uncomfortable for them, or maybe they get emotionally attached in a way that ends up making you uncomfortable. Lots to go wrong and I don't thing the massage is really the point. They could've easily broken down from... any other kind gesture really.
*= full quote: "this man has been re-living the same second for a hundred years. This particular issue is all in his head. But it's in our heads too. We all share his condition in a way. In scientific probable reality he doesn't even exist. ARE YOU CONFUSED?" (note from David Firth, a bit weird/morbid animations, but fittingly it's from the episode called The Unfixable Thought Machine. Though I reference this often, it's not particularly relevant to the actual thinking of my comment otherwise.)
Just sayin' anyone who's suffering and not irreparably broken yet, and can still articulate the feelings and reach out, we need to get together and heal each other.
How?
Great question. Metta meditation is a good way to start cultivating one’s own ability to love.
https://youtu.be/rjlSiASsUIs?si=kZuzvFSc8uuIbQRK
Eew that song has always given me the creeps.
On another note, R.I.P. Marvin Gaye, such a tragic end 😞
— Madeline L’Engle
why are people here talking about fixing? What ecactly are the things he's told that need fixing? That he's nervous to ask women to go on a date? How does this mean he needs fixing? I'm sorry can we stop pretending we need to be perfect before having a relationship?
The amount of pressure this puts into people is crazy, if you have obvious problems you should ofc fix them but a ton of times having someone by your side and them having you can help tons if you both are sincere and communicating.
Just stop it please, this dude showed nothing wrong, if anything how he realized he misses being in love with someone, my god.
Because somebody who has been alone for their entire life (at 30) probably isn't just nervous. Particularly with the crying and leaving with touch, that's probably a deeper issue even just from the solitude alone. And if he misses love it wasn't requited, mentioned at the beginning with khv (no hug/hand-holding).
But yeah, OOP is probably better off than me and I'm projecting. Not saying anything about perfection, just that a random meetup/fix-up is odd and OOP probably needs a little therapy and/or some other form of help, and I'm guessing based on their own words that they know that (easier said than done).
KHV, koi herpesvirus? Not communicable to humans.
googles again
Oh. Oh damn, that's sad. [NOTE:] not [he] is sad, though he might be, it is not my intention to bag on the person for the circumstance.
I'm not as broken as OP but it's still gonna take a professional unbrokenor. Don't touch me, I'll cry.
I'm a licensed massage therapist and even I'm picky about who touches me and who massages me. Some people have a good intuitive touch and some people have a toxic creepy selfish touch.
And when I massage other people professionally, I'm still a human, and there's still a few moments at the beginning where we both have to melt into a healing therapeutic mindset.
Again, I say I have received some pretty shitty massages before, to the point I rarely if ever want to receive another massage again, but I have no idea what it feels like for other people when I massage them other than the feedback they give me, or they leave feedback with my manager at the front desk and/or on anonymous computer form, and the feedback has been all positive and clients request me and return for more.
Oh, I trust you, I'm not saying you shouldn't do what you love and are great at doing.
I guess as someone that can relate to OP, it's not appropriate to open up about such deep emotional feelings to someone who isn't in a position to handle them, i.e. your coworkers wife, or anyone really that you don't trust more than anything, which for most men is their partner.
Maybe just a platonic massage where a guy can just have a good cry for an hour would help. For me personally though that would be difficult as like I said, trust is huge and I generally want to build that with someone that also wants to continue that. With therapists the trust is legally there so I'm at least more comfortable with that fact with them.
Yes, that's what I specialize in. Platonic massages. They are so healing.
But let me be clear here, I'm just babbling on a discussion forum and I have no hope or intention of meeting anyone here, I'm just discussing how that green text made me feel.
I guess I don't really know what different types of massages are, I've never had one as it doesn't appeal to me. Maybe if men like OP knew about massages that are more about just touch with another person, maybe more emotional release than a like physical therapy massage, then they might seek that. I've never seen or heard of that type of thing. I think it would certainly appeal to a lot of guys, but that's also essential targeting the most difficult demographic you could. It's like the cure is the problem.
Obviously? This is the internet.
Yeah it's inevitable, massage is emotionally healing as well as physically healing, as long as the person allows themselves to completely relax & surrender.
Honestly I've had some clients who stay rigid & talkative the whole time, which makes it impossible for them to relax & feel the physical & emotional benefits but even then it's okay because that's where they are right now, and over time with repeated sessions they will learn how to relax if they want to.
I agree. The man behaved inappropriately. The question is whether a man who behaves inappropriately should then he ostracized as a result, or whether people who are doing better should learn to ride out the discomfort from the inappropriate behavior.
It’s all a personal choice. Nobody should ever be forced into helping. But for each person, cultivating the ability to help will lead to a more meaningful life.
I really like helping people, and I guess I have whatever it is that makes people so comfortable opening up to me. I get that I have the ability to help so many people, but honestly, holy shit is it tiring. People just open up and tell me so much, it's exhausting knowing so much about people. Like at work everyone opens up to me about whatever is stressing them out, other coworkers, family, outside things I have no reason to know. If anything, letting people trauma dump is easy, it's carrying that information afterwards. They go back to just walking around behaving the same but I know everyones secrets as to why they aren't.
So true.
There's also the cold disconnected robotic touch, going through motions regardless of the receiver's response.
I'm not a professional, but for me when I massage someone, there's usually a lot of empathy involved.
I end up immersing myself in how they feel, how their body reacts, kinda trying to imagine their pains and aches like they were mine.
Idk, I've never really thought about it and I'm not sure I have the words to describe that.
A robotically responding body can be taught to respond organically. Stimulation rearranges nerves.
Melting with a person who doesn’t melt is a skill. It’s not just a binary working-or-it’s-not situation. It’s like hitting a target with an arrow. More practice leads to more success, and to success in places where only failure was before.
It's okay to cry.
:'(
Non-professionals should practice it too. We’re never going to save humanity if we leave it all to the professionals.
Professionals are the only ones with the PPE to keep me from giving them second-hand broken.