this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2023
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i've been in relationships where someone passive-aggressively refuses to communicate (or simply through incompetence doesn't know how, and/or came to believe that I was supposed to already intuitively know their position and condition)
One such relationship recently ended on thankfully good terms.
One such relationship was years ago and never quite got off the ground because I was NOT going to play along with the stupid games.
Several others got up through the initial courtship phases but then disintegrated as I realized that my partner at the time was not going to engage me on an honest basis.
These people are real. They're really out there. And they're either destined to be vaguely miserable forever, or someone is going to have to teach them and make them intensely miserable in the immediacy until they learn - and not many people have the patience or psychological energy to guide someone (who is kicking and screaming objections about how they shouldn't have to change or grow or adapt because they're special and perfect just as they are) through establishing a basic understanding of communication.
When people are adults, it's their job to learn the things and seek the knowledge and self improve. That thinking that you can save someone, that one will always get you in hot water. You just focus on improving you. And leaving the drift wood behind.