this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2023
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[–] chicken@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

i dont mind talking about it. i dont think ive ever told anyone before but i think it is a good story to share. im not sure how graphic i can be on here so ill be kinda vague but u can message me if u want the details.

i have had depression since i was ~12, and it was extremely bad when i was 13-16. when i was 13, i tried to commit unalive in the shower. as i was trying, it was not working at all. i kept trying for what felt like forever, probably like 30 minutes but there was nothing at all. it was impossíble, there should have been at least some amount of damage.

i didnt know this until a few years later when my mom and i ended up talking about the incident, but somehow at the time my mom knew something was wrong and during the shower she was praying intensely outside the bathroom door until i came out fine. i dont know how else to explain it other than her prayers along with gods protection that im still alive today. there is no other way answer how there was absolutely nothing that happened to me.

you would think this is what would have made my beliefs rock solid but actually they didnt really sink in until the adoration i mentioned earlier. either way im very grateful for it today.

[–] Pantoffel@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

That's a heavy thing to experience. Thanks for sharing. I could see why these experiences would lead you to return, in any case it's a good thing that you are still here.