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I was very surprised to find that I feel more calm, more balanced, more confident and true to myself, less worrisome and controlling, and just generally happier with every passing year.
I've had a very sharp mind, but I must confess I've noticed it slowing a little in the last few years. One of the mysterious benefits of that is now it causes me to reflect for just an extra moment before I respond. That has opened up so many more lines of communication and understanding in my personal relationships.
I didn't realize how much younger women would love older guys with some grey. I didn't realize how many women thought going unshaven and looking like a bag of shit (joking here but not)... was incredibly sexy.
I got a lot of experience seeing relationships all around me, and my own. And I came to discover some things about how we work inside. Majority of people never figure it out, but a lot of people do around 40. I found it very refreshing and surprising to see that within others, and it was a really cool light bulb going off for me when I got it.
I was super surprised to find out that despite my thrashing, really mostly my life was a series of random events or unlikely confluences. That is to say, through experience and reflection, I discovered that we really have far less influence in our own lives than we think. This goes for the high points and the low points.
I was really shocked actually to see how little emotional maturation there generally was as I watched my peers age alongside me. I know people who are in their 50s and 60s who do nothing except gossip in a sinister way about everybody and stir up shit. I am aware of a group of 50-year-old women wherein a marketing director got into a spat with 3 other women over a man at our social group, which ended with slashing tires. I really, really did not expect to see this kind of insanity at my age. And it still surprises me every time I see it, I must be naive at this point for giving people the benefit of the doubt.
I'm very surprised how quickly life changed from being so bored you purposely extend a poop from 2 minutes to 20 while you read the shampoo bottle for the 50th time... To the point where there isn't a single second in our day where interaction isn't available! We wouldn't miss a phone call for the world in the '70s-90s even if it meant jumping off the garage roof in the middle of reshingling to answer in time. I'm surprised at how bored I feel with more media to consume than ever before.