this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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Anecdotally my poly and perennially-on-tinder-date friends complain about their love lives at a much higher rate than my friends in more typical relationships. Poly community has a rough time dealing with jealousy and the tinder folks are often lonely.
The few friends I have who have never really been interested in dating have the least complaints though.
Yeah I've noticed the exact same thing.
I think our society has become so used to sexualization on all fronts that a lot of people think that it's what is expected of them, or that it's what people want so it's what they should want ect ect.
There aren't nearly as many songs or tv shows about happy boring marriages, it's all about getting laid and partying or following a bunch of love interests but not committing to any of them or just being a "love wolf" and I don't think that's intentional from artists, it's just those things are more exciting to hear about/see than something that is relatively uneventful and normal.
In reality a lot of people I know are happier in a healthy relationship, a poly friend of mine settled down once she met a dude who treated her well and wanted the same thing. I saw her recently when she was back in town and I could tell so quickly she was so much happier.
Myself being an attractive guy who's also very nerdy and weird found that it was really easy to sleep with girls but hard to get into a relationship. Sleeping around just made me feel worse cause I felt like my personality was the issue, now that I've found someone I really connect with I'm way happier than I was dating.