this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[โ€“] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Of course, the answer was right in front of me! I just need to pull on those bootstraps harder

[โ€“] DrWeevilJammer@lm.rdbt.no 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My bootstraps broke when I pulled them harder.

Turns out the local company that made bootstraps for 125 years was bought out by a hedge fund, which promptly fired all of the workers and subcontracted manufacturing to a company in Sri Lanka who could make them much cheaper by using inferior materials and by paying the Sri Lankan workers in 6 months what a fired local worker made in a day.

Ironically, the hedge fund CEO with the MBA he received as a legacy admission to Cornell only wears slippers because fuck you, I'm the boss.

[โ€“] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hold on bucko, the corporate police noticed that you were saying seditious statements about our glorious brand. The shareholders will decide your fate.