Autism

You're super valid, I just wanted to add some context. ABA "therapy", which is probably what you experienced, is absolutely an awful, distressing and unscientific methodology.

CBT on the other hand is much different. For me, and what I do most with my psychologist, it's learning to recognise the signs of distress in myself. To know that I'm feeling sad or overwhelmed. But as well, it's learning how to do something about that as well. It's knowing that the small dopamine hit from scrolling social media probably isn't helpful. So instead doing something like making myself a tea, or taking a bath, or cuddling & playing with my dog.

It's kind of a much more vibes-based therapy, rather than the strictness and awfulness of ABA. I want to make sure you know I'm not invalidating that trauma though, because it is SO real.

I wasn't forced but I was threatened by my mom that she would pay people to kidnap me in the night. Take me to one of those horrific places that have been coming to light the past few years. I've repressed pretty much all of my childhood. Other than a couple big traumas including that, my memories basically start at age 12.

I hear you loud and clear.

PTSD, major depressive, generalized anxiety, and as of last year finally diagnosed with ADHD. I have memories of taking a test when I was a kid that was probably for neurodivergence and I guess my mom didn't like the answer so it just took 35 years for me to get it figured out. I've thought I could be autistic since I learned what it was but I'll never know. I finally learned to stand up for myself about five years ago, one year too late to ask my mom about that test.

I was on an antipsychotic for a while and it was the least depressed I've ever felt but I had to drop it because it gave me pretty noticeable facial twitches that would have become permanent.

Overshare right back at you! Good luck out there.