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Sorry this is late but I relate to you too.
Great grandpa from my mom's side was a Holocaust survivor. Great grandpa from my dad's side was a Yugoslav partisan. Both were misogynists and pretty patriarchal.
Dad as a civilian escaped the Bosnian war to Serbia very late and saw his second and youngest brother die. He can be kind of a dick too, plus that Serbian right wing politicians are planning to get back the mandatory military service he's somehow fully supportive of It. Even though he served the Serbian army back in 2003. He's also pretty patriarchal and kinda racist. Told my sister like my mom told me to "not marry or start a familly with people outside of our race".
It's a complicated situation all around.