this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2024
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Games have game nights! Books have book clubs! Rock (music?) has concerts and shows! Traveling has so, so many people!
From there, opportunity is really what you make it. Insert yourself into conversations you overhear that you're interested in; it's as simple as making a joke while smiling and laughing and you've got a new group of friends. Sometimes this is only for the day, but sometimes it's for life!
Being alone comes in two forms. You can be alone and recede into yourself, closing yourself off from others. Or you can be alone while navigating interactions with people. The intention you should try to hold is one where you are existing in the world to observe and be observed!
When you observe, you are also observed. As I said, all it takes is making an initial passing conversation -- you are at a rock show and someone says something you agree with. Look at them and smile and agree. Before you know it, you are talking with a group of people.
This happens every day, it happened to me just the other night. My flight was cancelled and the person behind me was in the same situation. We joke and commiserate for an hour as we wait. Sometimes this becomes a friendship, sometimes you go your separate ways, all it takes is expressing how fun it was and that the friendship should continue.
In terms of romance, friends of friends. It's possible to meet online, but others have explained very well how fickle that can be. It is not reliable. Friends. Of. Friends. It is possible to meet in public, but it is not reliable because, like you, everyone has intentions for the day, and sometimes that does not include interaction with strangers. And remember, your family are friends too. Do you have siblings or parents or grandparents? Surely they know people your age, have a dinner party. Do you work? Coworkers are always interesting, of course we don't often want to think about or continue to interact with coworkers outside of work but you can always express how you're looking to do something after work or over the weekend and invite them, and invite them to also invite their friends.
Rarely is opportunity created unless we go out of our way to create one. This is why so many people suggest hobbies, as it's the bare minimum way to go out of your way to create an opportunity. This is also why people don't like hobbies as a suggestion, because in the grand scheme of things, the only "solution" is to break out of a comfort zone that you have and to do something that you may not always want to do. Discomfort is growth and how you grow is up to you, based on how you react to the opportunities that do arise.
Unfortunately in life, we must sometimes face discomfort before finding comfort. If all you ever want to do is stay in your room and play games, you aren't really giving yourself any opportunity to face discomfort and grow. At that point you have to reconcile with yourself.
I hope you find this helpful!