The Onion

4704 readers

380 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

150

Santa Confirms Everyone Getting Bag Of Glitter Labeled ‘Fairy Dust’ His Sister-In-Law Sells On Etsy (theonion.com)

submitted 4 days ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

2 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

My driveway still has glitter from when I painted my hospital table.. 9 years ago.

It needs to be repainted due to heavy use, and I like the glitter (plus I still have a big container of it, and wasting plastic is worse than using it), but I’m not looking forward to purple herpes for another decade.

I think I’ll suspend it in swirls in resin this time to be permanent, and keep more depth than the spray epoxy layer I used last time. Then I won’t have to do this again.

(I wouldn’t buy non-biodegradable glitter anymore, this stuff has been around for most of my life.. I got it in the early 2000s when I was in HS for some project or other, and I do my absolute best to contain it when I use it, but it’s glitter.)